Trust no one. I've been on this planet for a while now... but I really do swear... I feel like I am on Mars sometimes. Sometimes you think you have it all figure out... and thats when you realize... you don't know anything at all.

Sometimes... you lay your very essence in the hands of someone else... and they take one look at it... and throw it on the ground without even realizing what it took you to create it. At what point do I realize that the gift I have is just that... a gift. Who I am ... and the woman I have become truly is a gift to give. I know I have my character flaws... but dammit I work hard, I am trying to live my life the best I can. I don't always think before I chose... but the choices I do make are always with the best interests of people.. I am that ride or die type chick. You need a definition of that? When I am involved with someone... I will do anything ... ANYTHING ... to provide.

I will make sure without a doubt... that business is taken care of at home. Ask around... I have witnesses. ;) But the only thing I want to know... is when is it my turn? When do I get to experience someone who would give me their last? Because to tell you the truth... I honestly do not believe... that exists anymore. Why is it so easy for me to give? and so easy for others to take? but so HARD for others to give?I really do try to give freely without expecting anything in return... but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with the tasks I have chosen to involve myself with. I'm just sayin... at somepoint in my life... it would be nice to have a "partner". Not just someone I take care of.

Someone that is 100/100 ... not 75/25. Someone who realizes... what I have to offer is enough and doesn't continue to search elsewhere. Someone who doesn't walk all over my generosity. Someone I could trust with my life. Maybe I've had my head in the clouds too long. Maybe it's just time to put my feet back on the ground and realize... someone like that... is just a fantasy. Maybe I can close my eyes one last time... and dream... before I have to accept reality. Because when I wake up... I'm in a world where trust doesn't grow on trees. Hell it doesn't grow anywhere. The very people you thought would catch you when you fell... walk away laughin while you are on the ground with scraped up knees and a bruise on your ass. But hey... it is what it is right?