When Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) was a baby, her father, Eddie Fisher, left her mother, Debbie Reynolds for Elizabeth Taylor:
A few years after they married, Taylor dumped Fisher. He mourned the loss of his Elizabeth and still, according to his daughter, thinks of her as the "Great love of his life."
In a cruel twist of irony, Elizabeth thinks of him as a "mistake."
This blog isn't about the romantic escapades of Hollywood. It's about the irony of one person pining away for someone who spends the rest of her life regretting the time she spent with that person. If I, personally, knew someone thought of me as a mistake, you can bet your butt I'd be rethinking how I remembered him.
But then, I don't spend my life pining over someone from my past.
In the movie Adaptation, a character said something that struck me as particularly profound. I've searched for the quote since and can't find it, but in essence, the character was speaking of a girl he loved in high school who basically thought of him as a joke. Someone asked if that bothered him and he said no. That was HIS love, he said. HIS happiness. No one could take that away from him.
Is it pride? Maybe. I just have never been much for unrequited love. Sure, in high school I had my fair share of crushes on boys who barely knew I existed. Nor did they care. I had fun while it lasted but you can bet, once I finally opened my eyes and realized I was nothing more to them than a nuisance, I high-tailed my behind out of there.
All the time I see men pining over someone from years ago. The "one that got away." It's clear, when you talk to these guys, that the object of their affections has moved on. In most cases she's married, had a kid or two, and isn't giving him a second thought. If she is, it's certainly not to wax poetic about what "might have been."
I'm picking on men when it's all too true that a woman could fall into the same trap. Remembering that high school crush or that ex-husband she lost. Is it wrong for someone to spend so much time and energy on someone who either thinks of you as a mistake or doesn't think of you at all?
Or is it as the character in Adaptation said? It's your love. YOUR happiness. No one can take it away from you.
"You are what you love, not what loves you." -Adaptation
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Regrets
♥♥♥ I often hear things like, "never regret anything, cause at one point, it is what you wanted." or ''life is too precious to have regrets." And so on. These type of sayings are everywhere. And we think, yeah, that is so true. I shouldn't regret things. And we feel a little more secure...... for a while.
I don't believe we shouldn't have regrets. While the very ''thing'' we are regretting, may, infact have been what we wanted at the time, does not mean what we wanted was right for us. To be human is to err. I am sure you have heard that saying. To me, saying we shouldn't have regrets, is like saying, don't ever think you were wrong.
If a man rapes and kills a woman, should he not regret it? It's ok, cause he wanted it? But it's not the same, right? Not the same as getting drunk last night, and making out with that guy, oh what's his name. No, it is not the same thing. Different subjects. But all in all, a regret.
It's all in how you deal with regret. Now, if you linger, and hold on to it, yeah, we got a problem there. But, regretting something, learning from it, and moving on, that is the proper way to regret. Maybe the situation will arise again. And you will remember how you felt. You will feel remorse, and remember the lesson learned. Your regret just may save you from making the mistake again.
So I say, life is too short, NOT to regret. Just do it wisely. ♥♥♥
♥♥♥ I often hear things like, "never regret anything, cause at one point, it is what you wanted." or ''life is too precious to have regrets." And so on. These type of sayings are everywhere. And we think, yeah, that is so true. I shouldn't regret things. And we feel a little more secure...... for a while.
I don't believe we shouldn't have regrets. While the very ''thing'' we are regretting, may, infact have been what we wanted at the time, does not mean what we wanted was right for us. To be human is to err. I am sure you have heard that saying. To me, saying we shouldn't have regrets, is like saying, don't ever think you were wrong.
If a man rapes and kills a woman, should he not regret it? It's ok, cause he wanted it? But it's not the same, right? Not the same as getting drunk last night, and making out with that guy, oh what's his name. No, it is not the same thing. Different subjects. But all in all, a regret.
It's all in how you deal with regret. Now, if you linger, and hold on to it, yeah, we got a problem there. But, regretting something, learning from it, and moving on, that is the proper way to regret. Maybe the situation will arise again. And you will remember how you felt. You will feel remorse, and remember the lesson learned. Your regret just may save you from making the mistake again.
So I say, life is too short, NOT to regret. Just do it wisely. ♥♥♥
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Your ex's wedding pictures
At one time we lived in a much simpler world. You met someone, fell in love, and when it didn't work out you parted ways...never to see each other again. Then came the age of the Internet. MySpace. Facebook. Classmates.com.
With just a click of your mouse you can get up-to-date photos and information on every ex you've ever had. Why would you do that? I have a simple answer... Because you can. Life goes on. You meet someone else, fall deeply in love, and end up glad it didn't work out with the other person. That STILL doesn't change that weird, creepy feeling you get when you're gazing upon the wedding photo of someone you once thought you'd spend the rest of your life with. What is that? It's not that you still care for the person.
But in that very first moment as you look at that person you once loved, you become all too aware that life goes on without you. Yes, that person got over you. That person fell in love again too and YES, that person is probably just as glad as you are that it didn't work out. But...that's not the way it's supposed to happen. This is YOUR show. You're the star of it. When someone steps off your stage, he's supposed to vanish from existence. That was the way it worked in the days before the Internet, after all. People don't GET OVER us. They spend the rest of their lives devastated that the most incredible person they ever met is no longer with them. Right?
Think about it. Back in the 80s the only way your high school sweetheart would know what happened to you after high school graduation was if you somehow became a celebrity. Wrote a best-selling novel, became a movie star or famous musician... That sort of thing. We didn't even have reality TV back then. Unless you both lived in a small town and STAYED there, your ex left your life and simply...vanished. That was probably for the best. But now, thanks to the Internet, anyone can be a star. Okay, maybe not a star, but certainly FINDABLE.
Heck, if you get married your photographer will probably put your photos out there for all the world to see. One day that ex of yours will do a Google search and find himself face to face with YOU...standing next to someone else. And he'll feel like he's looking at something he was never, EVER, supposed to see. Some people (ahem) put their entire lives out there for everyone to look at. Yeah, anyone who wants to find out what's going on in my life needs only to click on over to my MySpace and there it all is. Maybe that's easier.
Just read the blog and follow along. We all assume our exes won't care anymore than we care but you know they have to feel the same way we do about it. She didn't spend the rest of her life mourning me? I'm over her but she was never supposed to get over ME. Wait...the world DOES revolve around each of us, right?
At one time we lived in a much simpler world. You met someone, fell in love, and when it didn't work out you parted ways...never to see each other again. Then came the age of the Internet. MySpace. Facebook. Classmates.com.
With just a click of your mouse you can get up-to-date photos and information on every ex you've ever had. Why would you do that? I have a simple answer... Because you can. Life goes on. You meet someone else, fall deeply in love, and end up glad it didn't work out with the other person. That STILL doesn't change that weird, creepy feeling you get when you're gazing upon the wedding photo of someone you once thought you'd spend the rest of your life with. What is that? It's not that you still care for the person.
But in that very first moment as you look at that person you once loved, you become all too aware that life goes on without you. Yes, that person got over you. That person fell in love again too and YES, that person is probably just as glad as you are that it didn't work out. But...that's not the way it's supposed to happen. This is YOUR show. You're the star of it. When someone steps off your stage, he's supposed to vanish from existence. That was the way it worked in the days before the Internet, after all. People don't GET OVER us. They spend the rest of their lives devastated that the most incredible person they ever met is no longer with them. Right?
Think about it. Back in the 80s the only way your high school sweetheart would know what happened to you after high school graduation was if you somehow became a celebrity. Wrote a best-selling novel, became a movie star or famous musician... That sort of thing. We didn't even have reality TV back then. Unless you both lived in a small town and STAYED there, your ex left your life and simply...vanished. That was probably for the best. But now, thanks to the Internet, anyone can be a star. Okay, maybe not a star, but certainly FINDABLE.
Heck, if you get married your photographer will probably put your photos out there for all the world to see. One day that ex of yours will do a Google search and find himself face to face with YOU...standing next to someone else. And he'll feel like he's looking at something he was never, EVER, supposed to see. Some people (ahem) put their entire lives out there for everyone to look at. Yeah, anyone who wants to find out what's going on in my life needs only to click on over to my MySpace and there it all is. Maybe that's easier.
Just read the blog and follow along. We all assume our exes won't care anymore than we care but you know they have to feel the same way we do about it. She didn't spend the rest of her life mourning me? I'm over her but she was never supposed to get over ME. Wait...the world DOES revolve around each of us, right?
Friday, May 15, 2009
Revenge is one of the deadliest things on Earth. Few people stop to realize this, and end up shooting themselves in the foot over and over again throughoo you, either directly or indirectly, that you didn't like. So you start scheming, thinking of wut life. The most common and obvious reason is anger. Anger because someone did something tays to get back at them, hurt them or destroy them, be it mentally, verbally, phsyically, or otherwise.
But what people don't realize is that revenge is a useless and futile expense of energy. More often than not, revenge only destroys yourself. Doing harm to others does more harm to you than them. Especially if it is unwarranted. All it really does is cause people who may have had sympathy or understanding for you think of you as petty and immature.
Take my ex's affair, for example. The girl he cheated on me with became an obsession of mine for like a month. I hated her. With every ounce of my being I hated her. I wanted to do all sorts of bad things to her, make her pay for what she did to me. Make her feel the pain that I was feeling. But you know what? I never did. And I was the bigger person for it. Instead of showing people that I was revengeful, no matter how justified, I showed people that I can handle myself with respect and maturity. It wasn't about her.
It was about me, taking everything I had, the strength of 1,000 armies and taking all that pain and aggression and anger and churning it out into writing, poetry, living breathing words flickering across the screen. Pain became art, beautiful pieces of art that became the center piece for my blogging, which now has turned into a different vein. (FTR my entire belief system is different now, and because of her, I am able to see things a lot more clearly, and my life is better for it. If I ever run into her, now my plan is to actually thank her. )
But either way, rather than lose the respect of those around me, I gained even more people's respect by taking something broken and making it beautiful. As for others, well I wish I could say the same for them. I sit back and watch people every day, good people, completely ruin themselves with bitterness, jealousy, anger and revenge. Spiteful feelings are like poison to a person's brain and aura. Take a person who has a lot going for them and add some bitterness, jealousy and spitefulness to them and they will always self-destruct. ALWAYS. If more people would focus on their own shit rather than spending all of their time and energy trying to get revenge on others the world would have a lot more successes in it rather than failures.If you don't like the way things are going, change them.
But change YOUR part. Stop trying to bring others down for your own personal gain. Because at some point or another, when everyone else has left the building, the only person left to carry the blame will be YOU.
But what people don't realize is that revenge is a useless and futile expense of energy. More often than not, revenge only destroys yourself. Doing harm to others does more harm to you than them. Especially if it is unwarranted. All it really does is cause people who may have had sympathy or understanding for you think of you as petty and immature.
Take my ex's affair, for example. The girl he cheated on me with became an obsession of mine for like a month. I hated her. With every ounce of my being I hated her. I wanted to do all sorts of bad things to her, make her pay for what she did to me. Make her feel the pain that I was feeling. But you know what? I never did. And I was the bigger person for it. Instead of showing people that I was revengeful, no matter how justified, I showed people that I can handle myself with respect and maturity. It wasn't about her.
It was about me, taking everything I had, the strength of 1,000 armies and taking all that pain and aggression and anger and churning it out into writing, poetry, living breathing words flickering across the screen. Pain became art, beautiful pieces of art that became the center piece for my blogging, which now has turned into a different vein. (FTR my entire belief system is different now, and because of her, I am able to see things a lot more clearly, and my life is better for it. If I ever run into her, now my plan is to actually thank her. )
But either way, rather than lose the respect of those around me, I gained even more people's respect by taking something broken and making it beautiful. As for others, well I wish I could say the same for them. I sit back and watch people every day, good people, completely ruin themselves with bitterness, jealousy, anger and revenge. Spiteful feelings are like poison to a person's brain and aura. Take a person who has a lot going for them and add some bitterness, jealousy and spitefulness to them and they will always self-destruct. ALWAYS. If more people would focus on their own shit rather than spending all of their time and energy trying to get revenge on others the world would have a lot more successes in it rather than failures.If you don't like the way things are going, change them.
But change YOUR part. Stop trying to bring others down for your own personal gain. Because at some point or another, when everyone else has left the building, the only person left to carry the blame will be YOU.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Trust no one. I've been on this planet for a while now... but I really do swear... I feel like I am on Mars sometimes. Sometimes you think you have it all figure out... and thats when you realize... you don't know anything at all.
Sometimes... you lay your very essence in the hands of someone else... and they take one look at it... and throw it on the ground without even realizing what it took you to create it. At what point do I realize that the gift I have is just that... a gift. Who I am ... and the woman I have become truly is a gift to give. I know I have my character flaws... but dammit I work hard, I am trying to live my life the best I can. I don't always think before I chose... but the choices I do make are always with the best interests of people.. I am that ride or die type chick. You need a definition of that? When I am involved with someone... I will do anything ... ANYTHING ... to provide.
I will make sure without a doubt... that business is taken care of at home. Ask around... I have witnesses. ;) But the only thing I want to know... is when is it my turn? When do I get to experience someone who would give me their last? Because to tell you the truth... I honestly do not believe... that exists anymore. Why is it so easy for me to give? and so easy for others to take? but so HARD for others to give?I really do try to give freely without expecting anything in return... but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with the tasks I have chosen to involve myself with. I'm just sayin... at somepoint in my life... it would be nice to have a "partner". Not just someone I take care of.
Someone that is 100/100 ... not 75/25. Someone who realizes... what I have to offer is enough and doesn't continue to search elsewhere. Someone who doesn't walk all over my generosity. Someone I could trust with my life. Maybe I've had my head in the clouds too long. Maybe it's just time to put my feet back on the ground and realize... someone like that... is just a fantasy. Maybe I can close my eyes one last time... and dream... before I have to accept reality. Because when I wake up... I'm in a world where trust doesn't grow on trees. Hell it doesn't grow anywhere. The very people you thought would catch you when you fell... walk away laughin while you are on the ground with scraped up knees and a bruise on your ass. But hey... it is what it is right?
Sometimes... you lay your very essence in the hands of someone else... and they take one look at it... and throw it on the ground without even realizing what it took you to create it. At what point do I realize that the gift I have is just that... a gift. Who I am ... and the woman I have become truly is a gift to give. I know I have my character flaws... but dammit I work hard, I am trying to live my life the best I can. I don't always think before I chose... but the choices I do make are always with the best interests of people.. I am that ride or die type chick. You need a definition of that? When I am involved with someone... I will do anything ... ANYTHING ... to provide.
I will make sure without a doubt... that business is taken care of at home. Ask around... I have witnesses. ;) But the only thing I want to know... is when is it my turn? When do I get to experience someone who would give me their last? Because to tell you the truth... I honestly do not believe... that exists anymore. Why is it so easy for me to give? and so easy for others to take? but so HARD for others to give?I really do try to give freely without expecting anything in return... but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with the tasks I have chosen to involve myself with. I'm just sayin... at somepoint in my life... it would be nice to have a "partner". Not just someone I take care of.
Someone that is 100/100 ... not 75/25. Someone who realizes... what I have to offer is enough and doesn't continue to search elsewhere. Someone who doesn't walk all over my generosity. Someone I could trust with my life. Maybe I've had my head in the clouds too long. Maybe it's just time to put my feet back on the ground and realize... someone like that... is just a fantasy. Maybe I can close my eyes one last time... and dream... before I have to accept reality. Because when I wake up... I'm in a world where trust doesn't grow on trees. Hell it doesn't grow anywhere. The very people you thought would catch you when you fell... walk away laughin while you are on the ground with scraped up knees and a bruise on your ass. But hey... it is what it is right?
Thank u for hurting me!!
Why is it that when you have your heart broken you realize that you lost part of yourself somewhere along the way to falling in love? Why do I always cater myself to the guy that I'm dating, tone down the makeup, grow my hair out, change the way I dress? I mean what is so special about him that I need to change for him? Everyday that we were together I got pulled away from the woman that I am a little more. I know that God puts people in our lives for a reason, this one I think was to help me grow as an adult.
Deep down I knew it wasn't gonna last but I was kind of hoping that it would. I guess I really enjoyed the thought of a future with someone...too bad he didn't feel the same. I am right, we are just way too different. He had NO EMOTION AT ALL! and I had too much. If I'm going to be with somebody they need to understand that I'm an emotional woman and I'm outgoing and totally crazy and nerdy!
I absolutely wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm proud of the woman that I've grown into thanks to my wonderful mom.. So as one of the best songs ever says "Take me for what I am who I was meant to be and if you give a damn
TAKE ME BABY OR LEAVE ME!"
Why is it that when you have your heart broken you realize that you lost part of yourself somewhere along the way to falling in love? Why do I always cater myself to the guy that I'm dating, tone down the makeup, grow my hair out, change the way I dress? I mean what is so special about him that I need to change for him? Everyday that we were together I got pulled away from the woman that I am a little more. I know that God puts people in our lives for a reason, this one I think was to help me grow as an adult.
Deep down I knew it wasn't gonna last but I was kind of hoping that it would. I guess I really enjoyed the thought of a future with someone...too bad he didn't feel the same. I am right, we are just way too different. He had NO EMOTION AT ALL! and I had too much. If I'm going to be with somebody they need to understand that I'm an emotional woman and I'm outgoing and totally crazy and nerdy!
I absolutely wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm proud of the woman that I've grown into thanks to my wonderful mom.. So as one of the best songs ever says "Take me for what I am who I was meant to be and if you give a damn
TAKE ME BABY OR LEAVE ME!"
Ever meet a guy and wonder if he's all about you or if he's just trying to "get some"? Most of the time when you find your "physical preference", you really want to believe that the person is being sincere; you’re more willing to accept BS from them, but then you find yourself getting played. Guys always reveal themselves, even in the 1st encounter, and there are 3 things you should always pay attention to: His approach, his body language, and his conversation.The first one is really simple…
His approach. If the first thing that comes out of his mouth is something sexual, i.e "damn ma, you sexy as hell, what's your name?", then he’s all about gettin’ in your britches, and you should turn away quickly. If he sends his friend over to get your attention he can’t be serious about you. No man should ever do that, he should get his own ass up. Now I gotta say this, most men won't approach a woman in packs and will do this for that reason, but I'm tellin' you, the BEST thing a man can do is approach a women when she's surrounded by lots of friends; why? Because if her friends like him, he's almost sure to win her over, lol.
If he approaches you with a pick up line or something that sounds like it was rehearsed in the bathroom, then he’s all about the booty. A man who is sincere would not approach you with a line that can randomly pertain to anybody. Now don’t get me wrong, some guys are just silly and do it for that very reason… Understandable, but where it goes from there depends on the next two things.The next one is not so simple, only because some women love to run their mouths, so they don’t quite pay attention to his body language… Plus they love flattery, and a lot of the body language plays right into that. Like when he looks you up and down…
That can be very flattering to a woman, and that’s fine, but if he is CONSTANTLY looking you up and down, it’s not hard to tell what he’s thinking about. And if you STILL find it flattering, then you deserve what you got coming. Licking his lips or showing his tongue is sign of a sleeze. If he’s not making eye contact or he’s constantly looking around, he’s not that interested in you or anything you have to say, but he sticks around because he wants to "get some". If he pauses in the middle of a sentence to think, he’s holding back information, as to not incriminate himself. If he touches his face or scratches his head, he’s either lying or unsure of himself. If he is constantly trying to touch you anywhere AT ALL…
Doesn’t matter if its your hands, arms, or whatever, his intentions are purely sexual. If he is really serious about getting to know you, he wouldn’t risk running you off by being too touchy-feely. It’s a technique to see just how far you’ll let him go… Which he hopes will lead to the bedroom. If he is dangling his keys, fiddling with his jewelry, or constantly adjusting his clothes, it is a sure sign of a selfish man. If he's into you or your conversation, why would he be fiddling with anything? Cause he's bored and not interested maybe? People who touch themselves alot is usually a sign that a person is possesive and are full of themselves. Think of a guy who curesses his face or rubs his hair when you tell him how good he looks, or the kind who likes to grab his crouch or flex... He's saying "me, me, me".Conversation is also an easy one to pick up but often ignored by the female species.
If he is constantly giving you compliments on your physical attributes, or compliments the same thing more than once, he’s telling you he wants to have sex. If the conversation leads to sex… Well, isn’t it obvious? Sex should never be a subject during the meeting stage. If he’s going on and on about himself he’s not concerned about you, he’s just trying to sell himself so he can get some. If you are constantly leading the conversation, he’s not that interested in you. Why is he still standing there, you ask? He’s waiting for you to shut up so he can ask you for your phone number and try and get some. Even if he is generally quiet he'll lead at some points if he's interested enough. If he asks you about ex-boyfriends, exhusbands, or brings up his ex-girlfriends, he’s playing the sympathy card. It’s the oldest trick in the book, sympathy ALWAYS wins with females and has an almost guaranteed hit rate.
The only thing that would ruin it for him is if he says something stupid. There is no reason to bring up ex’s when you first meet someone because it’s supposed to be about you and him. Anything else is just a distraction from the real agenda.A little off the subject but also something you might look for: some men who wear a lot of exceedingly flashy or "busy" clothing, for example, coats with "Gucci" symbols ALL over it or name brands that pop out at you excessively, multiple colors or loud colors, large jewelry, etc, etc, in most cases these men are attention hores, which is almost a sure sign of a person who's just out to get his. Again, it screams "me, me, me". Style is a tricky subject and is often misinterpreted so you have to be careful not to judge someone on style alone...
But the choice in style says a lot about a person.Whether or not a man is serious or is just trying to get into your pants is not limited to the things discussed here and at any time, it is possible to misinterpret these things as well, but let me make one thing clear… MEN ARE NOT COMPLICATED!! You may think so, but all you’d have to do is pay attention to them. You’d be amazed at just how much bullcrap you’ll let slip past you when you’re really attracted to someone but let some ol’ scrub lookin’ dude step to you like that and you’ll notice every bit of BS comin’ out of him. If you shove some s*** into a jewel glass case, does that make it anymore valuable than plain s***?
That’s my 2 cents…
His approach. If the first thing that comes out of his mouth is something sexual, i.e "damn ma, you sexy as hell, what's your name?", then he’s all about gettin’ in your britches, and you should turn away quickly. If he sends his friend over to get your attention he can’t be serious about you. No man should ever do that, he should get his own ass up. Now I gotta say this, most men won't approach a woman in packs and will do this for that reason, but I'm tellin' you, the BEST thing a man can do is approach a women when she's surrounded by lots of friends; why? Because if her friends like him, he's almost sure to win her over, lol.
If he approaches you with a pick up line or something that sounds like it was rehearsed in the bathroom, then he’s all about the booty. A man who is sincere would not approach you with a line that can randomly pertain to anybody. Now don’t get me wrong, some guys are just silly and do it for that very reason… Understandable, but where it goes from there depends on the next two things.The next one is not so simple, only because some women love to run their mouths, so they don’t quite pay attention to his body language… Plus they love flattery, and a lot of the body language plays right into that. Like when he looks you up and down…
That can be very flattering to a woman, and that’s fine, but if he is CONSTANTLY looking you up and down, it’s not hard to tell what he’s thinking about. And if you STILL find it flattering, then you deserve what you got coming. Licking his lips or showing his tongue is sign of a sleeze. If he’s not making eye contact or he’s constantly looking around, he’s not that interested in you or anything you have to say, but he sticks around because he wants to "get some". If he pauses in the middle of a sentence to think, he’s holding back information, as to not incriminate himself. If he touches his face or scratches his head, he’s either lying or unsure of himself. If he is constantly trying to touch you anywhere AT ALL…
Doesn’t matter if its your hands, arms, or whatever, his intentions are purely sexual. If he is really serious about getting to know you, he wouldn’t risk running you off by being too touchy-feely. It’s a technique to see just how far you’ll let him go… Which he hopes will lead to the bedroom. If he is dangling his keys, fiddling with his jewelry, or constantly adjusting his clothes, it is a sure sign of a selfish man. If he's into you or your conversation, why would he be fiddling with anything? Cause he's bored and not interested maybe? People who touch themselves alot is usually a sign that a person is possesive and are full of themselves. Think of a guy who curesses his face or rubs his hair when you tell him how good he looks, or the kind who likes to grab his crouch or flex... He's saying "me, me, me".Conversation is also an easy one to pick up but often ignored by the female species.
If he is constantly giving you compliments on your physical attributes, or compliments the same thing more than once, he’s telling you he wants to have sex. If the conversation leads to sex… Well, isn’t it obvious? Sex should never be a subject during the meeting stage. If he’s going on and on about himself he’s not concerned about you, he’s just trying to sell himself so he can get some. If you are constantly leading the conversation, he’s not that interested in you. Why is he still standing there, you ask? He’s waiting for you to shut up so he can ask you for your phone number and try and get some. Even if he is generally quiet he'll lead at some points if he's interested enough. If he asks you about ex-boyfriends, exhusbands, or brings up his ex-girlfriends, he’s playing the sympathy card. It’s the oldest trick in the book, sympathy ALWAYS wins with females and has an almost guaranteed hit rate.
The only thing that would ruin it for him is if he says something stupid. There is no reason to bring up ex’s when you first meet someone because it’s supposed to be about you and him. Anything else is just a distraction from the real agenda.A little off the subject but also something you might look for: some men who wear a lot of exceedingly flashy or "busy" clothing, for example, coats with "Gucci" symbols ALL over it or name brands that pop out at you excessively, multiple colors or loud colors, large jewelry, etc, etc, in most cases these men are attention hores, which is almost a sure sign of a person who's just out to get his. Again, it screams "me, me, me". Style is a tricky subject and is often misinterpreted so you have to be careful not to judge someone on style alone...
But the choice in style says a lot about a person.Whether or not a man is serious or is just trying to get into your pants is not limited to the things discussed here and at any time, it is possible to misinterpret these things as well, but let me make one thing clear… MEN ARE NOT COMPLICATED!! You may think so, but all you’d have to do is pay attention to them. You’d be amazed at just how much bullcrap you’ll let slip past you when you’re really attracted to someone but let some ol’ scrub lookin’ dude step to you like that and you’ll notice every bit of BS comin’ out of him. If you shove some s*** into a jewel glass case, does that make it anymore valuable than plain s***?
That’s my 2 cents…
I've had a few serious relationships in my time. I've heard more than a few stories about that girl he used to date. Without going into specifics, they cover several different areas.She was too much of a freak in bed.She used him for his money, getting him to finance everything, then dumped him.She was a psycho bitch. (This is pretty much the standard.)Before you men come forward and say this...I'm going to state that this blog can go for both sexes and be done with it. But today, we're going to pick a side and stick with it. Because that's how I roll.
Women, when you start a new relationship and he starts talking about his ex, LISTEN. I know it can get boring...I know you're wondering why doesn't he just get over it already. But, the truth is, there's valuable information in what he's telling you.The guy I dated with the sex-freak ex? A complete prude. Yes, such men exist. He had the sex drive of a fountain pen and over time, that just gets old. Later, looking back, I realized that so-called nymphomaniac was probably just a normal woman, trying to bring some spice into their lackluster sex life.
Of course, then you realize he'll be characterizing YOU as a sex-freak to the next seven women he dates. (Or a psycho, because that is, after all, the standard.)The guy with the money-grubbing ex? A complete and total pushover. I never got past date one with him because it was obvious on the date he had no spine whatsoever. He'd financed this girl completely for a year, only to find out she'd been cheating on him with a guy who wasn't such a pushover. Icky-poo. Grow a pair, dude.Now, about the fact that all their exes are psycho...Hon, trust me on this, you'll be psycho someday too. Because when he suddenly one day decides, after six months of dating and sleeping together, that he's just not going to ever call, speak to, or see you again, you just might do a little something to get his attention.
Like show up at his house unannounced during the big game on Sunday.Only, to the next girl, he'll describe you as, "The girl who just kept stalking me." He'll conveniently leave out the fact that you were stalking him because he declined to let you know it was over and just vanished. Because, we all know, when someone is telling the story of his past relationships, he conveniently omits all guilt on his part.See how it works?It helps if he's bitter about ALL his past relationships, because he'll talk about them exhaustively. And you can start to see a pattern emerge. Guaranteed, if you stay with him long enough, that pattern will start to become all too clear. You'll realize he's a dud in bed. Or that he's an insensitive jerk. You may not make the connection but if you really stop and think, you'll consider all of those other exes he's characterized as freakshows and realize maybe they weren't such freakshows after all. Over time, you even begin to feel a sort of camaraderie with those exes.
They've survived this. You wish you could start a club and commiserate over what a nutjob he is.Of course you don't. Because that would be wrong. At best, what you do is learn from each experience and become more easily able to spot those red flags from the beginning.So, for those of you still single, next time you meet someone you really like, listen when he talks about that ex. Note everything he says and try your best to see it from her perspective. Because if you don't, you'll find out exactly what she found out. And you'll be the psycho he's telling his next girlfriend about.
Women, when you start a new relationship and he starts talking about his ex, LISTEN. I know it can get boring...I know you're wondering why doesn't he just get over it already. But, the truth is, there's valuable information in what he's telling you.The guy I dated with the sex-freak ex? A complete prude. Yes, such men exist. He had the sex drive of a fountain pen and over time, that just gets old. Later, looking back, I realized that so-called nymphomaniac was probably just a normal woman, trying to bring some spice into their lackluster sex life.
Of course, then you realize he'll be characterizing YOU as a sex-freak to the next seven women he dates. (Or a psycho, because that is, after all, the standard.)The guy with the money-grubbing ex? A complete and total pushover. I never got past date one with him because it was obvious on the date he had no spine whatsoever. He'd financed this girl completely for a year, only to find out she'd been cheating on him with a guy who wasn't such a pushover. Icky-poo. Grow a pair, dude.Now, about the fact that all their exes are psycho...Hon, trust me on this, you'll be psycho someday too. Because when he suddenly one day decides, after six months of dating and sleeping together, that he's just not going to ever call, speak to, or see you again, you just might do a little something to get his attention.
Like show up at his house unannounced during the big game on Sunday.Only, to the next girl, he'll describe you as, "The girl who just kept stalking me." He'll conveniently leave out the fact that you were stalking him because he declined to let you know it was over and just vanished. Because, we all know, when someone is telling the story of his past relationships, he conveniently omits all guilt on his part.See how it works?It helps if he's bitter about ALL his past relationships, because he'll talk about them exhaustively. And you can start to see a pattern emerge. Guaranteed, if you stay with him long enough, that pattern will start to become all too clear. You'll realize he's a dud in bed. Or that he's an insensitive jerk. You may not make the connection but if you really stop and think, you'll consider all of those other exes he's characterized as freakshows and realize maybe they weren't such freakshows after all. Over time, you even begin to feel a sort of camaraderie with those exes.
They've survived this. You wish you could start a club and commiserate over what a nutjob he is.Of course you don't. Because that would be wrong. At best, what you do is learn from each experience and become more easily able to spot those red flags from the beginning.So, for those of you still single, next time you meet someone you really like, listen when he talks about that ex. Note everything he says and try your best to see it from her perspective. Because if you don't, you'll find out exactly what she found out. And you'll be the psycho he's telling his next girlfriend about.
Marriage is a long time. It is a contract, a commitment, an understanding, a partnership of sorts. Egos have to to be put aside in order for the union or merger to be a success. Unfortunately, statistically speaking, it is subject to fail. It's a coinflip for survival. That doesn't seem so bad when determining who goes first, but in mariage, those numbers are not a good reason to pull the shotgun away from your mouth! Marriage, and this economy has people ready to jump out the window like Ron Brownz! "Why get married then", you say?
I never told you to get married, I just explained to you what marriage is!The biggest question is, "why do people cheat, and are in relationships" Why tell a person you love them, only to have sex with another person later that day. As springtime approaches, and single mothers income tax returns run out, I can't help but notice a disturbing trend today. TOO MANY LOVE SONGS ON THE RADIO! Apparently the most requested songs get played. Ne-Yo, Dream, J.Holiday, Plies, Jamie Foxx, basically anything that involves women being "ride or die chicks", "independent women", or freaky sex havers.
Friends, these are the signs of extremely lonely people! Ask yourself a question. Who would request these types of song day in and day out? Yes, you guessed right. Gay guys who act like girls, and lonely females!Why do men cheat? Why do women cheat? I compared women to children in the "turn an inch into a mile" sense. The same thing can be applied to men, BECAUSE THEY CAN, AND YOU AIN'T GONNA DO SHHHHIIIIIIITTTTTT.............YOU AIN'T GONNA DO SSHHHHHIIIIITTTTTTT! If a man goes out, comes in at 5 in the morning, you let it ride..........Oh he's going bonkers with it! That's how men are. Women who cheat do it because the man is either: soft, expendable, has no choice but to take it, homeless, or just a sorry dude. Real men don't get cheated on, sorry. If you are a man who was cheated on, you weren't a man when it happened. If you are single........you are lonely.
If you're in a relationship, but wanna see other people.......you are selfish. Why are you in a relationship if you can't take it seriously? I'm about to blow this thing wide open, and I apologize to the many fellas who may be offended!- Single men are single because they either just got out of a relationship, or are broke. Any man with money or has somewhat of a sucessful polish is a target! You will be hounded relentlessy, and women will try to be with you non-stop. Your ego will grow each time some lying freak tells you she misses you or some other freaky stuff I will not type. Then you allow yourself to fall for her clutches. Because you have some polish, everyone is still trying to get at you, and since your ego is out of control.........you just keep going.........then you get laid off! Suddenly, she says "needs time to find herself, and concentrate on school", so you single again!- You out at a bar or club, and you meet a chick who is lonely errr single.
You ain't got shit.......but you look good........and she got her own whip, place, and a great job.........ladies, do I really need to continue? LOL! Well, her money turns into y'all money, and you out trickin her money on chicks you weren't able to pull 6 months ago! C'mone man! I'm just saying!STOP WASTING EACH OTHER'S TIME! I get that there are lonely people in the world, but any person who cheats on you doesn't respect you, and respect and love go hand in hand. You give respect to your woman by respecting her concerns or issues no matter how fucking stupid it sounds to you at the time. You respect your man by not undermining him, or driving him away. He doesn't have to cheat to be driven away.
You need communication, so there isn't any funny business. Miscommunication plays a big part in infidelity. The ultimate reason for cheating unfortunately is people just want their cake, and to smash it too. Look, if getting it in is your thing, do you. Don't be selfish, and make someone yours because you don't want no one else to have them, or you're an insecusre loser! Love yours! Take care of yours, and communicate! Or you can keep going to the bar, getting with said person, sleep with them, they eat up your food, then call they baby mama, or daddy to come pick them up from your house! If that's being single, you can have it!!!!
I never told you to get married, I just explained to you what marriage is!The biggest question is, "why do people cheat, and are in relationships" Why tell a person you love them, only to have sex with another person later that day. As springtime approaches, and single mothers income tax returns run out, I can't help but notice a disturbing trend today. TOO MANY LOVE SONGS ON THE RADIO! Apparently the most requested songs get played. Ne-Yo, Dream, J.Holiday, Plies, Jamie Foxx, basically anything that involves women being "ride or die chicks", "independent women", or freaky sex havers.
Friends, these are the signs of extremely lonely people! Ask yourself a question. Who would request these types of song day in and day out? Yes, you guessed right. Gay guys who act like girls, and lonely females!Why do men cheat? Why do women cheat? I compared women to children in the "turn an inch into a mile" sense. The same thing can be applied to men, BECAUSE THEY CAN, AND YOU AIN'T GONNA DO SHHHHIIIIIIITTTTTT.............YOU AIN'T GONNA DO SSHHHHHIIIIITTTTTTT! If a man goes out, comes in at 5 in the morning, you let it ride..........Oh he's going bonkers with it! That's how men are. Women who cheat do it because the man is either: soft, expendable, has no choice but to take it, homeless, or just a sorry dude. Real men don't get cheated on, sorry. If you are a man who was cheated on, you weren't a man when it happened. If you are single........you are lonely.
If you're in a relationship, but wanna see other people.......you are selfish. Why are you in a relationship if you can't take it seriously? I'm about to blow this thing wide open, and I apologize to the many fellas who may be offended!- Single men are single because they either just got out of a relationship, or are broke. Any man with money or has somewhat of a sucessful polish is a target! You will be hounded relentlessy, and women will try to be with you non-stop. Your ego will grow each time some lying freak tells you she misses you or some other freaky stuff I will not type. Then you allow yourself to fall for her clutches. Because you have some polish, everyone is still trying to get at you, and since your ego is out of control.........you just keep going.........then you get laid off! Suddenly, she says "needs time to find herself, and concentrate on school", so you single again!- You out at a bar or club, and you meet a chick who is lonely errr single.
You ain't got shit.......but you look good........and she got her own whip, place, and a great job.........ladies, do I really need to continue? LOL! Well, her money turns into y'all money, and you out trickin her money on chicks you weren't able to pull 6 months ago! C'mone man! I'm just saying!STOP WASTING EACH OTHER'S TIME! I get that there are lonely people in the world, but any person who cheats on you doesn't respect you, and respect and love go hand in hand. You give respect to your woman by respecting her concerns or issues no matter how fucking stupid it sounds to you at the time. You respect your man by not undermining him, or driving him away. He doesn't have to cheat to be driven away.
You need communication, so there isn't any funny business. Miscommunication plays a big part in infidelity. The ultimate reason for cheating unfortunately is people just want their cake, and to smash it too. Look, if getting it in is your thing, do you. Don't be selfish, and make someone yours because you don't want no one else to have them, or you're an insecusre loser! Love yours! Take care of yours, and communicate! Or you can keep going to the bar, getting with said person, sleep with them, they eat up your food, then call they baby mama, or daddy to come pick them up from your house! If that's being single, you can have it!!!!
Act like a lady, think like a man
Two shows I like to catch Monday through Friday mornings are:The View (main reason being is that the others gang up on the perky blond quite often, and I love watching her get put in her place for thinking she's a know-it-all)and The Ellen Degeneres Show (one of the funniest women alive)I can't help it, I'm that girlie.Not too long ago, Ellen had comedy king Steve Harvey on as a guest to promote his latest endeavor, the number one selling relationship book in the country at the present time:He was even on Oprah for his second go 'round to continue spreading the simplified code to getting how simplistic men really are when it comes to dating the so-called unreadable gender.
Listening to a few examples of his outlook on how women continue to look at men as a rubix cube endeavor when it really is as plain as day, I took off to my local Borders locale and purchased his well reviewed publishing.Wow.I have already for seen men as basic creatures with little mystery, yet a few actions have always left me confused and in the dark...that is until I read Harvey's relationship 'bible' and finally understood. No longer will I be perplexed at any 'man trouble' that floats my way. No longer will the wool be swept over my eyes and be made a fool out of. I've been keeping well standards for some time now, but after reading, my confidence has grown that much stronger.
For those of my female readers who have yet to expose yourself to his fabulous workings, I am more than happy to share with you what I have learned, and what I have always suspected to be true and gained confirmation of. Take each and every note to heart and follow through at all times. For goodness sakes, an honest, straightforward MAN is exposing the 'mystery' that the penis bearing gender have been riding on scape goat for as long as possible, and he opted to call all of them out so each and every woman out there looking for REAL LOVE can stop wasting her time and TRULY succeed in finding something RIGHT. Read on and enjoy!....
1.)Men are driven by 3 things in Life: a)Who He isb)What He Does c) How Much He MakesIf a man is not fulfilling his goals, managing a beneficial career, knowing in complete certainty that he can be an absolute protector and provider to one special lady, there is absolutely no way he can be ready for real commitment. You may be dating him, but progression in the relationship will not successfully occur as long as he has yet to find his place in the world and be happy where he stands.
2) A Man's Love is NOT like a Woman's LoveWomen will pamper and devote all of the affections they can muster for the love in their life to the point of Lifetime Movie credibility. A man just isn't programmed to express his devotions in the same manner no matter how much you try and beat it out of him. If a man truly loves you, he will do 3 things:a) Profess his Love. You will always be introduced as his lady or on official terms as girlfriend/fiance/wife to any and everyone he comes in contact with to let them all know you are his and he is proud. If you're ever introduced as his "friend" or just by your name, let there be no doubt that to him, that is all you really are.b) Provide for you. Once he's professed his devotion, he will step up to the plate and start bringing home the bacon. Nothing is going to stop the man who loves you with everything that he is to ensure that you are taken care of be it financially, physical, mentally, and emotionally.c) Protect You. A man in love will always travel to the ends of the Earth and back in making damn skippy that you are always out of harms path. No venture is asking too much of a man when it comes to the woman his heart resides with.
3.) Men need three basic actions of us to be happy:a) Supportb) Loyaltyc) the Cookie (i.e. Sex)Withhold any of just one of the three and he WILL without a doubt, seek it from someone else, absolutely.
4.) Men see women in two categories: Sports Fish and Keepers.If you're a woman who doesn't have any rules, requirements, respect for herself, or guidelines, men pick up on your scent a mile away (take for instance the commonly seen barely dressed late night bar/club goers whom are more than happy to go home with any man who pays for drinks and ponies up insincere compliments to get in their pants). To him, you will only be seen as a sports fish and can never be more than an easy target so long as you continue down such a destructive path.If you're a woman who has standards/requirements, commands (not demand) respect, and can easily offer up those three necessary terms that men need to stick around, you fall under the Keeper catergory and a smart, REAL man won't let you go.
5) Men cheat for many reasons, but the five that are most commonly the cause:a) They can. They don't view sex the same way us women do in regards to emotional connection. They can honestly Love a woman with all that he is and still be able to separate that bond by sleeping with another whom he has no honest feeling for. If he is missing something and/or not receiving what he needs from you in the relationship that you share, he will cheat only to feel better about himself and collect resolve in the form of infidelity.b) They think they can get away with itHarvey insists that men consider the risks of getting caught by cheating on his lady. But mostly, they initiate affairs/infidelity pretty confident that they're going to get away with it and that even if they do get caught, their denials will see them through. He shares with the reader that men go to great lengths to hide it from us, always with the thought in mind: If you don't know about it, it can't hurt you.
The most interestring tidbit that he shares with this fact is that when getting caught a man will only lie and deny if he cares about his woman. If he doesn't see her fitting into his life plan, he won't even bother with covering his tracks and chitchat after being found out, he'll just simply offer up guilty admittance.This is a big one that I completely agree with seeing as how it has at one time, personally entered my relationship, and I can not emphasis enough to a woman that the moment your suspicions arise that something isn't right between you and your man becuase you believe he may be cheating, go ahead and pull out the sherlock holmes routine until it's confirmed or you're proven wrong. Use your intuition, almost always, it is right. There isn't any reason for you to feel guilty, embarrassed, or ashamed when it comes to finding out the truth if YOU are being a faithful partner.c) He hasn't become who he wants and needs to be or found who he truly wants. If he's lost in the game of Life and/or hasn't found 'the One' he will continuously play the field until he finds his place in the world and the right woman to be at his side.d)What's happening at home isn't "happening" like it used to.
Sure, it's a tall tale women are told again and again that we want to believe is a falsified excuse men use to just run out on us, but it is in every sense of the word true. Once things become so routine and you have no desire to keep the spark going and pursue working at maintaining a happy, ongoing, satisfying sexual relation alive with your man, he will go and seek it from someone who will hands down give it up.and the biggest reason of all...e) There's always a woman out there willing to cheat with him. Think about it. If every woman in the world said "You're married/in a relationship - I can't go there with you", do you know how little and possibly non existent divorce and/or breakups would suffice?
Sure, every now and then, there ARE women who can be fooled and don't know that a man is already spoken for. But Harvey states that the majority of the time, these women that so easily spread themselves around like Country Crock Butter to any man who gives them the time of day knows that they are sleeping with a taken man and go along with it anyway (serious self esteem issues of course).I could go on and on about the many more wonderful splendors I got out of this literary gem, but it's much better when you can read it for yourself. "He's Just not That Into You" brought women the clarity to stop excusing shitty behavior from men and made devoted followers from most if not all of us. With "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man", Steve Harvey has gone above and beyond to put it all on the table and empower women to stop accepting and settling with unsuitable behavior of men so that we can truly find REAL happiness.
Kudos to the man bearing fearless Cajones!
Two shows I like to catch Monday through Friday mornings are:The View (main reason being is that the others gang up on the perky blond quite often, and I love watching her get put in her place for thinking she's a know-it-all)and The Ellen Degeneres Show (one of the funniest women alive)I can't help it, I'm that girlie.Not too long ago, Ellen had comedy king Steve Harvey on as a guest to promote his latest endeavor, the number one selling relationship book in the country at the present time:He was even on Oprah for his second go 'round to continue spreading the simplified code to getting how simplistic men really are when it comes to dating the so-called unreadable gender.
Listening to a few examples of his outlook on how women continue to look at men as a rubix cube endeavor when it really is as plain as day, I took off to my local Borders locale and purchased his well reviewed publishing.Wow.I have already for seen men as basic creatures with little mystery, yet a few actions have always left me confused and in the dark...that is until I read Harvey's relationship 'bible' and finally understood. No longer will I be perplexed at any 'man trouble' that floats my way. No longer will the wool be swept over my eyes and be made a fool out of. I've been keeping well standards for some time now, but after reading, my confidence has grown that much stronger.
For those of my female readers who have yet to expose yourself to his fabulous workings, I am more than happy to share with you what I have learned, and what I have always suspected to be true and gained confirmation of. Take each and every note to heart and follow through at all times. For goodness sakes, an honest, straightforward MAN is exposing the 'mystery' that the penis bearing gender have been riding on scape goat for as long as possible, and he opted to call all of them out so each and every woman out there looking for REAL LOVE can stop wasting her time and TRULY succeed in finding something RIGHT. Read on and enjoy!....
1.)Men are driven by 3 things in Life: a)Who He isb)What He Does c) How Much He MakesIf a man is not fulfilling his goals, managing a beneficial career, knowing in complete certainty that he can be an absolute protector and provider to one special lady, there is absolutely no way he can be ready for real commitment. You may be dating him, but progression in the relationship will not successfully occur as long as he has yet to find his place in the world and be happy where he stands.
2) A Man's Love is NOT like a Woman's LoveWomen will pamper and devote all of the affections they can muster for the love in their life to the point of Lifetime Movie credibility. A man just isn't programmed to express his devotions in the same manner no matter how much you try and beat it out of him. If a man truly loves you, he will do 3 things:a) Profess his Love. You will always be introduced as his lady or on official terms as girlfriend/fiance/wife to any and everyone he comes in contact with to let them all know you are his and he is proud. If you're ever introduced as his "friend" or just by your name, let there be no doubt that to him, that is all you really are.b) Provide for you. Once he's professed his devotion, he will step up to the plate and start bringing home the bacon. Nothing is going to stop the man who loves you with everything that he is to ensure that you are taken care of be it financially, physical, mentally, and emotionally.c) Protect You. A man in love will always travel to the ends of the Earth and back in making damn skippy that you are always out of harms path. No venture is asking too much of a man when it comes to the woman his heart resides with.
3.) Men need three basic actions of us to be happy:a) Supportb) Loyaltyc) the Cookie (i.e. Sex)Withhold any of just one of the three and he WILL without a doubt, seek it from someone else, absolutely.
4.) Men see women in two categories: Sports Fish and Keepers.If you're a woman who doesn't have any rules, requirements, respect for herself, or guidelines, men pick up on your scent a mile away (take for instance the commonly seen barely dressed late night bar/club goers whom are more than happy to go home with any man who pays for drinks and ponies up insincere compliments to get in their pants). To him, you will only be seen as a sports fish and can never be more than an easy target so long as you continue down such a destructive path.If you're a woman who has standards/requirements, commands (not demand) respect, and can easily offer up those three necessary terms that men need to stick around, you fall under the Keeper catergory and a smart, REAL man won't let you go.
5) Men cheat for many reasons, but the five that are most commonly the cause:a) They can. They don't view sex the same way us women do in regards to emotional connection. They can honestly Love a woman with all that he is and still be able to separate that bond by sleeping with another whom he has no honest feeling for. If he is missing something and/or not receiving what he needs from you in the relationship that you share, he will cheat only to feel better about himself and collect resolve in the form of infidelity.b) They think they can get away with itHarvey insists that men consider the risks of getting caught by cheating on his lady. But mostly, they initiate affairs/infidelity pretty confident that they're going to get away with it and that even if they do get caught, their denials will see them through. He shares with the reader that men go to great lengths to hide it from us, always with the thought in mind: If you don't know about it, it can't hurt you.
The most interestring tidbit that he shares with this fact is that when getting caught a man will only lie and deny if he cares about his woman. If he doesn't see her fitting into his life plan, he won't even bother with covering his tracks and chitchat after being found out, he'll just simply offer up guilty admittance.This is a big one that I completely agree with seeing as how it has at one time, personally entered my relationship, and I can not emphasis enough to a woman that the moment your suspicions arise that something isn't right between you and your man becuase you believe he may be cheating, go ahead and pull out the sherlock holmes routine until it's confirmed or you're proven wrong. Use your intuition, almost always, it is right. There isn't any reason for you to feel guilty, embarrassed, or ashamed when it comes to finding out the truth if YOU are being a faithful partner.c) He hasn't become who he wants and needs to be or found who he truly wants. If he's lost in the game of Life and/or hasn't found 'the One' he will continuously play the field until he finds his place in the world and the right woman to be at his side.d)What's happening at home isn't "happening" like it used to.
Sure, it's a tall tale women are told again and again that we want to believe is a falsified excuse men use to just run out on us, but it is in every sense of the word true. Once things become so routine and you have no desire to keep the spark going and pursue working at maintaining a happy, ongoing, satisfying sexual relation alive with your man, he will go and seek it from someone who will hands down give it up.and the biggest reason of all...e) There's always a woman out there willing to cheat with him. Think about it. If every woman in the world said "You're married/in a relationship - I can't go there with you", do you know how little and possibly non existent divorce and/or breakups would suffice?
Sure, every now and then, there ARE women who can be fooled and don't know that a man is already spoken for. But Harvey states that the majority of the time, these women that so easily spread themselves around like Country Crock Butter to any man who gives them the time of day knows that they are sleeping with a taken man and go along with it anyway (serious self esteem issues of course).I could go on and on about the many more wonderful splendors I got out of this literary gem, but it's much better when you can read it for yourself. "He's Just not That Into You" brought women the clarity to stop excusing shitty behavior from men and made devoted followers from most if not all of us. With "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man", Steve Harvey has gone above and beyond to put it all on the table and empower women to stop accepting and settling with unsuitable behavior of men so that we can truly find REAL happiness.
Kudos to the man bearing fearless Cajones!
Crushes
It all started in sixth grade.There was a boy in my class named Steven I had a crush on. It was my first crush ever. So, of course, being the big-mouth I am, I told my best friend Lisa, who told Lukas... Within a day or so, that boy knew I liked him.Nothing happened.
The pattern repeated in seventh grade, eighth grade, ninth grade... I'd pick out a boy, for whatever reason, and develop a crush. Inevitably, someone around me would find out and she'd tell someone who'd tell someone. It would get back to the boy, who would never speak to me again. You'd think, at some point, I would have figured out my little system wasn't working.Oh, it gets worse. Sometimes I'd DELIBERATELY have someone tell him I liked him. "Do you want me to see if he likes you?" one of my friends would ask. I'd protest at first but eventually, give in. Why did I do this? I have no idea. I think in my adolescent mind, I hated admiring someone from afar. I wanted him to KNOW I existed and once he knew, he'd HAVE to like me. Right?Yeah, right. That's why it never worked.
My other friends didn't do things this way. If they liked a boy, they'd never, EVER want him to know. They'd tell very few people and just admire him quietly. This got them absolutely nowhere. Hey, at least I took a chance.Of course, as you get older, you learn the best way to win a guy you're interested in is to...well...actually TALK to him. Maybe walk up and introduce yourself. Make sure you're in the same place he is at a certain time and "accidentally" bump into him. You could play hard-to-get and just hope he tries to chase. Is it just me, or did anyone else notice that never worked? You were running but he wasn't chasing. Kinda reminds me of the time a friend of mine got mad that some guy she'd gone out with hadn't called. "Well, I'm not speaking to him anymore."Yeah. That'll show him.
Guess what? He's not chasing. So all your running is doing nothing but making you TIRED.The question still remains, what is the best way to get your crush to take notice? Does telling Suzy to tell Bobby to tell Mark to tell him EVER work? Or is it best to just walk right up and introduce yourself?
It all started in sixth grade.There was a boy in my class named Steven I had a crush on. It was my first crush ever. So, of course, being the big-mouth I am, I told my best friend Lisa, who told Lukas... Within a day or so, that boy knew I liked him.Nothing happened.
The pattern repeated in seventh grade, eighth grade, ninth grade... I'd pick out a boy, for whatever reason, and develop a crush. Inevitably, someone around me would find out and she'd tell someone who'd tell someone. It would get back to the boy, who would never speak to me again. You'd think, at some point, I would have figured out my little system wasn't working.Oh, it gets worse. Sometimes I'd DELIBERATELY have someone tell him I liked him. "Do you want me to see if he likes you?" one of my friends would ask. I'd protest at first but eventually, give in. Why did I do this? I have no idea. I think in my adolescent mind, I hated admiring someone from afar. I wanted him to KNOW I existed and once he knew, he'd HAVE to like me. Right?Yeah, right. That's why it never worked.
My other friends didn't do things this way. If they liked a boy, they'd never, EVER want him to know. They'd tell very few people and just admire him quietly. This got them absolutely nowhere. Hey, at least I took a chance.Of course, as you get older, you learn the best way to win a guy you're interested in is to...well...actually TALK to him. Maybe walk up and introduce yourself. Make sure you're in the same place he is at a certain time and "accidentally" bump into him. You could play hard-to-get and just hope he tries to chase. Is it just me, or did anyone else notice that never worked? You were running but he wasn't chasing. Kinda reminds me of the time a friend of mine got mad that some guy she'd gone out with hadn't called. "Well, I'm not speaking to him anymore."Yeah. That'll show him.
Guess what? He's not chasing. So all your running is doing nothing but making you TIRED.The question still remains, what is the best way to get your crush to take notice? Does telling Suzy to tell Bobby to tell Mark to tell him EVER work? Or is it best to just walk right up and introduce yourself?
I was lost, so I turned right. I knew what I was looking for and figured if this wasn't it, I'd know right away. For a while, I seemed to be going the right way. But just as I began feeling secure in reaching my destination, I saw the first sign."Dead End."Hmmm... That can't be good. But the road continued ahead as far as I could see, so I kept going. And there it was again."Dead End."Did I continue on or turn back? Eventually I'd have to turn around anyway, so why keep going? The longer I wait, the harder it will be.All my life, I've been driving around lost.
It started with my first crush in sixth grade and continued into adulthood. I'd find a relationship I wanted to pursue and start down that road, never knowing how far it would take me. Some relationships lasted longer than others but inevitably all of them dead-ended.Sometimes you know on the first date. Sometimes it's much further down that road, maybe even after ignoring several warning signs along the way. Often the most difficult thing in the world is admitting a relationship you've invested yourself in isn't going to work out. But whether you admit it or not, you're going to hit that dead end.I've seen friends heartbroken and confused because a relationship didn't work out.
Everything seemed to be going fine but all of a sudden he changed. She feels deceived. If he knew it wasn't going to last, why did he date her so long? He seemed to be falling in love...was he lying to her all along? Where did things go wrong?It's simple. He met her. He liked her. He continued to get to know her. Since he's not psychic, he couldn't know just how it would end. Maybe at first he was too caught up in his physical attraction to think clearly. Or maybe after spending a few long weekends in her presence, he's come to realize she drives him out of his freakin' mind.Whatever the case, the road will not continue.
He won't move her into his place, won't propose, won't spend the rest of his life with her. For him there's another road -- one he can't pursue until he turns around and hauls ass back to the main intersection. Maybe she'll be hurt in the process but someday she'll look back and realize that dead end was there all along. He just happened to see it before she did.The good news is someday, without warning, you'll turn down one of those roads and it won't dead end. You'll find exactly what you've been looking for. But it will only happen if you keep driving.
It started with my first crush in sixth grade and continued into adulthood. I'd find a relationship I wanted to pursue and start down that road, never knowing how far it would take me. Some relationships lasted longer than others but inevitably all of them dead-ended.Sometimes you know on the first date. Sometimes it's much further down that road, maybe even after ignoring several warning signs along the way. Often the most difficult thing in the world is admitting a relationship you've invested yourself in isn't going to work out. But whether you admit it or not, you're going to hit that dead end.I've seen friends heartbroken and confused because a relationship didn't work out.
Everything seemed to be going fine but all of a sudden he changed. She feels deceived. If he knew it wasn't going to last, why did he date her so long? He seemed to be falling in love...was he lying to her all along? Where did things go wrong?It's simple. He met her. He liked her. He continued to get to know her. Since he's not psychic, he couldn't know just how it would end. Maybe at first he was too caught up in his physical attraction to think clearly. Or maybe after spending a few long weekends in her presence, he's come to realize she drives him out of his freakin' mind.Whatever the case, the road will not continue.
He won't move her into his place, won't propose, won't spend the rest of his life with her. For him there's another road -- one he can't pursue until he turns around and hauls ass back to the main intersection. Maybe she'll be hurt in the process but someday she'll look back and realize that dead end was there all along. He just happened to see it before she did.The good news is someday, without warning, you'll turn down one of those roads and it won't dead end. You'll find exactly what you've been looking for. But it will only happen if you keep driving.
Thing Women do NOT Want Men to Know
She wore that low-cut top so you'd notice her chest. You really don't think that short skirt and generous display of cleavage was an accident do you? I mean, a woman would never dare look in a mirror before she left the house. She wants you to gaze upon her breasts like the works of art that they are. So not only is it OK for your eyes to drift down, but it could also be a deal-breaker if they dont. The only thing is: You can never be caught staring. I know women that have "first date" tops, totally revealing, and they make a little game out of watching you try to avoid looking at their boobs. But if you don't get caught taking at least one peek, you could quickly be labeled gay. So remember this. Noticing her breasts: very good. Staring at her breasts: not so good. Actually conducting a conversation with her breasts: bad.
She wants you just as much as you want her. Just because she isn't slowly licking her lips while being mesmerized by the bulge in your pants, it doesn't mean she isn't thinking about treating you like the pizza boy in a bad porno. Because maybe, she is hungry for pizza. Or maybe she's even hungry for you. In fact, if she's just met you or you've been dating for a while, she's usually wondering, "When are we going to stop talking and start getting naked and sweaty? I would really like to work off that pint of Ben and Jerry's I polished off last night." Women are just better at hiding it.
You would be shocked to learn how many of the cute, sweet-looking girls you run into at bars all want to get laid as bad as you do. They can get crazy frustrated when there's too long of a gap in-between sexual encounters just like us. Sometimes women want a man the second they see him. And they can spend massive, unhealthy amounts of time fantasizing about having sex with guys they barely know. Does one of those guys she "barely knows" sound a lot like you? Bingo, dude. When you meet a new woman, assume you're the right guy, but without being cocky. Don't share that clever play on words. Instead, just meet or beat her mild expectations, and you'll be delivering her pizza by midnight.
She masturbated sometime this week. Think you're the only one choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, punching the peacock and making really lame jack-off metaphors? Women give themselves a hand almost as often as guys do, (TIME OUT: Pausing to consider this lovely image) A national survey of 10,000 - 18-35 year-old women revealed that they masturbate once a week or more. Vibrators play their wondrous part, but the typical weapons of choice are fingers and showerheads - specifically showerheads still attached to the plumbing. In fact, a woman may have been pleasuring herself on your subway ride this morning. Many women can do it fully clothed. Crossed legs provide great friction. They can do it on crowded buses, airplanes, and the bikes at the gym. Your best move: Watch densely populated areas for a woman whose eyes are rolling backward. As she starts to scream, introduce yourself, because when she's thinking of sex, you want her to be thinking of you.
She's screwed up when it comes to relationships. Popular thinking says that guys are relationship-challenged, while women are born with a relationship gene (located next to the shopping gene). Nothing could be less true. Except the part about guys. And shopping. Most women are as skeptical about love and as insecure about their intimacy skills as men are. So, YEE-HA! You don't have to be perfect because she's a mess too, right? Well, not exactly...but keep in mind that all women aren't experts at planning couple-ish things, knowing when to say just the right thing, or bringing up the issues. So cut the girls some slack, if things aren't going the way you want them to go, feel free to take the wheel and turn the corner. Then find a dark place to park.
She waxed her bikini line or the whole show before your first date just in case. The rationale? Hey, you never know- this one might sweep me off my feet and into his bed. And she de-fuzzes more than her legs. Chances are, she also cleaned her apartment, changed her sheets, and tucked the economy-sized box of pregnancy tests way in the back of her medicine cabinet. Even if you don't have sex, you may sleep over, so she plans for it. I have one friend that always buys a new container of OJ, eggs, and bacon, just for the potential of the next morning. So guys, check out her sheets, check out her personal grooming, and check her fridge for OJ - he could be in there looking for the REAL killers. If all is in place, she could be planning on having sex with you, or she could be planning on eating breakfast.
She gets off on quickies. Long, languid, lovemaking sessions are all good and fine. But more women than you think crave it fast, furious, and foreplay-less. A lot of women love the feeling of being taken "right now". Throw them on the bed, frantically rip off clothing and give it to her hard. Just not ALL THE TIME. Believe it or not, women get tired of being nibbled on endlessly. She is not a wheel of Brie. You are not a mouse. Unless, of course, she smells like Brie and you're wearing big black ears. I'm just saying...
She wants you to pay. Forget feminism or the fact that she makes buckets more money than you do. First date, you pay. If she offers to go halfsies? It's a trap, dumbass. She's only offering you money just to see if you're the type of loser who'll say yes. You say you don't mind if she thinks you're a cheap bastard? What about a cheap bastard who's bad in the sack. There's a school of thought floating around out there that says how generous a man is with his wallet (and waiters) is indicative of how generous he'll be in bed. It may be just as much crap as the size of his feet, but some people believe that too.
She's worried about her love handles, not yours. The first time you get naked together, all (ok, not all) she's thinking is: Oh shit! The lights are on and he can see my cellulite! Or, He's seeing my disproportionately large boobs! (Yes some women consider that a problem. Very strange.) She's usually quite busy trying to get herself in a position that flatters her, like on her back - her stomach looks flatter, so don't argue with her until the lights are out - so she's not really paying attention to your body at all. So don't let your body stand in the way of a completely out-of-body sexual experience. She won't care if you skipped your ab-rolling for the past few weeks, or years, or lifetimes. Second penis? OK, she might notice that, but she'd only be happy for you both. Or the three of you. Or something.
She compares notes. Oh yes, she does. Don't worry - your lean to the left is just between you, her and her 12 closest friends. The ugly truth is that women talk, and they do so in anatomically correct detail. It's rarely benign. They WILL talk about last night with you - graphically - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Then she'll come back to you portraying sex as such a sacred and private thing, never letting on that she's spilling the beans to the girls. And grandma. And the guy who cuts her hair. And that nice lady at the laundromat. And...ok, I'm done.
I know, I know....the female mafia just put a hit out on me.
She wore that low-cut top so you'd notice her chest. You really don't think that short skirt and generous display of cleavage was an accident do you? I mean, a woman would never dare look in a mirror before she left the house. She wants you to gaze upon her breasts like the works of art that they are. So not only is it OK for your eyes to drift down, but it could also be a deal-breaker if they dont. The only thing is: You can never be caught staring. I know women that have "first date" tops, totally revealing, and they make a little game out of watching you try to avoid looking at their boobs. But if you don't get caught taking at least one peek, you could quickly be labeled gay. So remember this. Noticing her breasts: very good. Staring at her breasts: not so good. Actually conducting a conversation with her breasts: bad.
She wants you just as much as you want her. Just because she isn't slowly licking her lips while being mesmerized by the bulge in your pants, it doesn't mean she isn't thinking about treating you like the pizza boy in a bad porno. Because maybe, she is hungry for pizza. Or maybe she's even hungry for you. In fact, if she's just met you or you've been dating for a while, she's usually wondering, "When are we going to stop talking and start getting naked and sweaty? I would really like to work off that pint of Ben and Jerry's I polished off last night." Women are just better at hiding it.
You would be shocked to learn how many of the cute, sweet-looking girls you run into at bars all want to get laid as bad as you do. They can get crazy frustrated when there's too long of a gap in-between sexual encounters just like us. Sometimes women want a man the second they see him. And they can spend massive, unhealthy amounts of time fantasizing about having sex with guys they barely know. Does one of those guys she "barely knows" sound a lot like you? Bingo, dude. When you meet a new woman, assume you're the right guy, but without being cocky. Don't share that clever play on words. Instead, just meet or beat her mild expectations, and you'll be delivering her pizza by midnight.
She masturbated sometime this week. Think you're the only one choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, punching the peacock and making really lame jack-off metaphors? Women give themselves a hand almost as often as guys do, (TIME OUT: Pausing to consider this lovely image) A national survey of 10,000 - 18-35 year-old women revealed that they masturbate once a week or more. Vibrators play their wondrous part, but the typical weapons of choice are fingers and showerheads - specifically showerheads still attached to the plumbing. In fact, a woman may have been pleasuring herself on your subway ride this morning. Many women can do it fully clothed. Crossed legs provide great friction. They can do it on crowded buses, airplanes, and the bikes at the gym. Your best move: Watch densely populated areas for a woman whose eyes are rolling backward. As she starts to scream, introduce yourself, because when she's thinking of sex, you want her to be thinking of you.
She's screwed up when it comes to relationships. Popular thinking says that guys are relationship-challenged, while women are born with a relationship gene (located next to the shopping gene). Nothing could be less true. Except the part about guys. And shopping. Most women are as skeptical about love and as insecure about their intimacy skills as men are. So, YEE-HA! You don't have to be perfect because she's a mess too, right? Well, not exactly...but keep in mind that all women aren't experts at planning couple-ish things, knowing when to say just the right thing, or bringing up the issues. So cut the girls some slack, if things aren't going the way you want them to go, feel free to take the wheel and turn the corner. Then find a dark place to park.
She waxed her bikini line or the whole show before your first date just in case. The rationale? Hey, you never know- this one might sweep me off my feet and into his bed. And she de-fuzzes more than her legs. Chances are, she also cleaned her apartment, changed her sheets, and tucked the economy-sized box of pregnancy tests way in the back of her medicine cabinet. Even if you don't have sex, you may sleep over, so she plans for it. I have one friend that always buys a new container of OJ, eggs, and bacon, just for the potential of the next morning. So guys, check out her sheets, check out her personal grooming, and check her fridge for OJ - he could be in there looking for the REAL killers. If all is in place, she could be planning on having sex with you, or she could be planning on eating breakfast.
She gets off on quickies. Long, languid, lovemaking sessions are all good and fine. But more women than you think crave it fast, furious, and foreplay-less. A lot of women love the feeling of being taken "right now". Throw them on the bed, frantically rip off clothing and give it to her hard. Just not ALL THE TIME. Believe it or not, women get tired of being nibbled on endlessly. She is not a wheel of Brie. You are not a mouse. Unless, of course, she smells like Brie and you're wearing big black ears. I'm just saying...
She wants you to pay. Forget feminism or the fact that she makes buckets more money than you do. First date, you pay. If she offers to go halfsies? It's a trap, dumbass. She's only offering you money just to see if you're the type of loser who'll say yes. You say you don't mind if she thinks you're a cheap bastard? What about a cheap bastard who's bad in the sack. There's a school of thought floating around out there that says how generous a man is with his wallet (and waiters) is indicative of how generous he'll be in bed. It may be just as much crap as the size of his feet, but some people believe that too.
She's worried about her love handles, not yours. The first time you get naked together, all (ok, not all) she's thinking is: Oh shit! The lights are on and he can see my cellulite! Or, He's seeing my disproportionately large boobs! (Yes some women consider that a problem. Very strange.) She's usually quite busy trying to get herself in a position that flatters her, like on her back - her stomach looks flatter, so don't argue with her until the lights are out - so she's not really paying attention to your body at all. So don't let your body stand in the way of a completely out-of-body sexual experience. She won't care if you skipped your ab-rolling for the past few weeks, or years, or lifetimes. Second penis? OK, she might notice that, but she'd only be happy for you both. Or the three of you. Or something.
She compares notes. Oh yes, she does. Don't worry - your lean to the left is just between you, her and her 12 closest friends. The ugly truth is that women talk, and they do so in anatomically correct detail. It's rarely benign. They WILL talk about last night with you - graphically - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Then she'll come back to you portraying sex as such a sacred and private thing, never letting on that she's spilling the beans to the girls. And grandma. And the guy who cuts her hair. And that nice lady at the laundromat. And...ok, I'm done.
I know, I know....the female mafia just put a hit out on me.
While sitting at dinner one night my 10 year oldnephew told a story about how him and his friend were chasing their dog. He laughed and laughed and said the more we chased her the more she ran. And every now and then she would stop and make us think she was gonna let us catch her....and theeeennnn she would take off again. I was sooooo frustrated but she kept trickin US!!! I got tired and said you make me sick! I was tired and sweaty so I just turned around and started walking in the house. The dog ran and jumped on me! I said Baby if you chase a dog she will run. If you want her to play with you, you gotta call her and then just let her come to you.
LIGHTBULB
Moral of the Story ladies. I'm a lot of old school splashed with a little new school when it comes to dating. If I see a guy I'm interested in I'll toss the bait. I may even give my number if I know he wants it but he's a bit shy and hasn't asked. Men don't like rejection (women don't either) but men are worse. So I will give him the number. He then gives me his. Women: If you did take a risk and you promted the number exchange. Let him call you! ENOUGH! If he doesn't bite. Keep it moving. Never say another word about the number (why aren't you calling me) Men typically don't like to crush our feelings.
Trust he didn't loose it, if he did he'll ask you. Keep your dignity! Now the SLIGHT difference between a man and the story above. Is he will stop long enough to get from you whatever your willing to give, but he will get up and take off running again! If he wants you let him come get you. Men like a challenge don't just throw yourself out there. That's not Sexy, Attractive, or Appealing, but he will deal with you just not on the level We often are looking for...This is the kind of situation you don't want. It brings headaches, heartaches, stomachaches and your tears. Stay clear of this type of relationship, (it's toxic). Pay attention to what your doing because your ACTIONS could have caused it to switch gears. And you downgraded yourself.
LIGHTBULB
Moral of the Story ladies. I'm a lot of old school splashed with a little new school when it comes to dating. If I see a guy I'm interested in I'll toss the bait. I may even give my number if I know he wants it but he's a bit shy and hasn't asked. Men don't like rejection (women don't either) but men are worse. So I will give him the number. He then gives me his. Women: If you did take a risk and you promted the number exchange. Let him call you! ENOUGH! If he doesn't bite. Keep it moving. Never say another word about the number (why aren't you calling me) Men typically don't like to crush our feelings.
Trust he didn't loose it, if he did he'll ask you. Keep your dignity! Now the SLIGHT difference between a man and the story above. Is he will stop long enough to get from you whatever your willing to give, but he will get up and take off running again! If he wants you let him come get you. Men like a challenge don't just throw yourself out there. That's not Sexy, Attractive, or Appealing, but he will deal with you just not on the level We often are looking for...This is the kind of situation you don't want. It brings headaches, heartaches, stomachaches and your tears. Stay clear of this type of relationship, (it's toxic). Pay attention to what your doing because your ACTIONS could have caused it to switch gears. And you downgraded yourself.
Monday, May 11, 2009
These are tough times economically. In such situations people tend to get angry, to fly into a rage and to get into fights which spoil a relationship.
I feel sad when I read the names people call their ex-s. Isn’t ex the same person for whom we once swore eternal love?
Relationship is a two way street and both have to give in. One has to be a little blind to the other’s fault as also to be kind to their efforts.
Some very important points collated over the years and learnt from experience
T RUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation. A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is." Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
NO POINTING FINGERS A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you." We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS? A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. She should be willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. I want someone telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television." There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up a nd discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
NO OVERPOWERING Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character." It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
RIGHT SPEECH There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party. A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered, "You should appreciate that you married me. Other wise, he will be the millionaire and not you." Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
PERSONAL PERCEPTION Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey? "Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey. Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future. Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
BE PATIENT This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide. Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or you wish to take revenge.
Think first before you lose your patience with someone you love. Trucks can be repaired. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge. People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
I feel sad when I read the names people call their ex-s. Isn’t ex the same person for whom we once swore eternal love?
Relationship is a two way street and both have to give in. One has to be a little blind to the other’s fault as also to be kind to their efforts.
Some very important points collated over the years and learnt from experience
T RUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation. A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is." Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
NO POINTING FINGERS A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you." We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS? A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. She should be willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. I want someone telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television." There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up a nd discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
NO OVERPOWERING Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character." It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
RIGHT SPEECH There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party. A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered, "You should appreciate that you married me. Other wise, he will be the millionaire and not you." Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
PERSONAL PERCEPTION Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey? "Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey. Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future. Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
BE PATIENT This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide. Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or you wish to take revenge.
Think first before you lose your patience with someone you love. Trucks can be repaired. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge. People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Sadly, most men never see the signs their woman is leaving them.......
One day you're living the good life. You own a home together, your car is paid for and everything seems like it should be going the way it should.
Then........one day you come home a little drunk from the strip club and .........
*poof* shes gone........
Could this have been avoided?
Not likely. Once a woman has her mind made up to leave, you'd have better luck trying to convince Mother Teresa to star in a three way porno with a midget and a donkey than getting your woman to change her mind.
Women don't generally leave overnight. The woman leaving process usually covers a span of 6 months and the man is completely oblivious to the fact shes leaving until the day he opens the door and the house is empty.
Learning to see the signs takes understanding the difference between the male and female thought process:
The male brain is very simple and easy to read. Ask any man what another man is thinking and he can tell you.
The Male Brain:
On the other hand, the female brain is extremely complex. Ask any Woman what another woman is thinking and she will tell you....." I have *NO* idea.....That bitch is crazy"
The Female Brain:
Sign number 1 O.I.D
The first sign shes leaving is always the hardest to spot. This is where she has come up with some emotional argument in the relationship that you cant win. There's no reason or logic involved in her argument, its all about how she "feels" about something.
As a woman holds on more and more to her emotional argument, her body starts to under go many changes over the next six months. The first thing that happens is her body begins to produce a very toxic hormone called O.I.D. (Ovarian Induced Drama) which begins to destroy or block the reasoning part of the brain.
If untreated in the very beginning, OID will eventually destroy any hope of her taking accountability and turn her heart into stone.
The cure for OID: Never argue with a woman
Sign Number 2 support system
Six months prior to leaving a relationship, a woman can tell you the exact reasons why all the single women she knows are not in a relationship. Once OID sets in, these same 'once dysfunctional' women suddenly all become her new support system.
Her support system thrives off the Drama she feeds them, and she thrives from the attention they give her.
If your woman is suddenly exploding in anger over shit that happened 2 years ago, an hour before shes going to meet her friends...You are unknowingly going to be the topic of conversation for the evening.
By the time a man realizes his woman is unhappy in the relationship, all of her friends , family, co-workers, Walmart employees and even complete strangers in Jamaica all knew three months prior.
How to battle her support system: Ignore her
Sign Number 3 Relationship counseling
This is a woman's last ditch effort to sell her *Epic Lifetime Story of Emotional Abuse* .
How to win in relationship counseling: STFU and the let councilor deal with her. They are professionally trained to combat ovarian nonsense.
Relationship Counseling will also teach as a man how to spot the signs early on and what to do in the likely event it happens again...
One day you're living the good life. You own a home together, your car is paid for and everything seems like it should be going the way it should.
Then........one day you come home a little drunk from the strip club and .........
*poof* shes gone........
Could this have been avoided?
Not likely. Once a woman has her mind made up to leave, you'd have better luck trying to convince Mother Teresa to star in a three way porno with a midget and a donkey than getting your woman to change her mind.
Women don't generally leave overnight. The woman leaving process usually covers a span of 6 months and the man is completely oblivious to the fact shes leaving until the day he opens the door and the house is empty.
Learning to see the signs takes understanding the difference between the male and female thought process:
The male brain is very simple and easy to read. Ask any man what another man is thinking and he can tell you.
The Male Brain:
On the other hand, the female brain is extremely complex. Ask any Woman what another woman is thinking and she will tell you....." I have *NO* idea.....That bitch is crazy"
The Female Brain:
Sign number 1 O.I.D
The first sign shes leaving is always the hardest to spot. This is where she has come up with some emotional argument in the relationship that you cant win. There's no reason or logic involved in her argument, its all about how she "feels" about something.
As a woman holds on more and more to her emotional argument, her body starts to under go many changes over the next six months. The first thing that happens is her body begins to produce a very toxic hormone called O.I.D. (Ovarian Induced Drama) which begins to destroy or block the reasoning part of the brain.
If untreated in the very beginning, OID will eventually destroy any hope of her taking accountability and turn her heart into stone.
The cure for OID: Never argue with a woman
Sign Number 2 support system
Six months prior to leaving a relationship, a woman can tell you the exact reasons why all the single women she knows are not in a relationship. Once OID sets in, these same 'once dysfunctional' women suddenly all become her new support system.
Her support system thrives off the Drama she feeds them, and she thrives from the attention they give her.
If your woman is suddenly exploding in anger over shit that happened 2 years ago, an hour before shes going to meet her friends...You are unknowingly going to be the topic of conversation for the evening.
By the time a man realizes his woman is unhappy in the relationship, all of her friends , family, co-workers, Walmart employees and even complete strangers in Jamaica all knew three months prior.
How to battle her support system: Ignore her
Sign Number 3 Relationship counseling
This is a woman's last ditch effort to sell her *Epic Lifetime Story of Emotional Abuse* .
How to win in relationship counseling: STFU and the let councilor deal with her. They are professionally trained to combat ovarian nonsense.
Relationship Counseling will also teach as a man how to spot the signs early on and what to do in the likely event it happens again...
Friday, May 8, 2009
What women want.....
Most men who ask for a kiss will be denied. It may not be an auditory no; it may be an eye roll and a smile, a quick laugh, a change of subject, a slight teasing push, or a quick peck. She's not going to be rude about it, but please don't ask.If you want something from her, you're going to have to take it. She won't surrender unless you make her. Respect, you need to give it AND command it; balance taking her with respecting her. It requires instinct, a visceral knowing that reads her in ways that can't be learned or taught.If you want the kiss, let go of all you're thinking and live inside your skin. Feel her without touching her. Your body KNOWS. Listen to it. Whatever you do, don't ask. Here's a tip, if you can't feel it, it's not there and no amount of wishing it were is going to make it so. If your instinct is telling you to lean in, then do it. Be a man.
~FAST FORWARD ~
You walk in the door; she meets you with a smile. You hand her a bottle of wine. She thanks you and takes it into the kitchen, puts it on ice. You follow her in. She has laughter in her eyes and smells like citrus. She brushes past you, lifts her eyes to yours and smiles as she slides between you and the center island. You're inches away from her but you can feel her. It's all you can do not to reach out and pull her to you.So why don't you? JUST DO IT. Grab her wrist and pull her back. If she doesn't resist, you're good to go. This isn't rocket science. Read her, damn it. Stop thinking and feel her. She's not going to give you the obvious permission you want. She's drawn to strength and confidence. You either have it or you don't. She's waiting to find out.She slips by again, holding a warm dish of something.
You take it right out of her hands, set it down, and pull her to you. This is when you ask, but there are no words required.Your thumb circles the inside of her wrist. You reach up and push her hair back. Your other thumb traces her jaw line. If there's vulnerability, you'll see it now. She lifts her eyes and you see it, step in, stop with your lips a breath away from hers, then kiss her lower lip. She opens and melts into you.And this is how you speak, with your hands softly tugging at her hair, with your tongue tasting hers. Now let her go. Not too quick. She's melted and needs a second or two to be solid again. Look her in the eyes and smile. Brush your thumb against her cheek again. Step back. Pick up the warm dish you took out of her hand scant seconds ago and ask, "Should I put this on the table?" You've stepped into her. You're behind her defenses. Be careful. Don't play with her. Eat a little. Talk to her. Drink some wine. Listen to music. When the dishes are cleared, sit down on the couch and pull her toward you. Kiss her again. Then make yourself do it.
Make yourself get up and say goodbye with a kiss that's a promise. When you're on the other side of the door, turn and rest your forehead against it. She's on the other side. If not for the door, her head would be on your chest.Don't race past the wanting. Savor it. Let it build. Make it last. It'll never be like this again. This is a discovery, a gradual knowing. Nothing feels as good as wanting. Forget about instant gratification. Dream about touching her. Let her dream about you. Let her wake up warm and wet because in her dream you were touching her, tasting her, moving inside of her, and she wants you. Feel her surrender a bit more every time you're with her. When you can't stand it anymore - when she can't - she'll do what she never does, she'll ask. And when she pulls her lips back from yours and says please, make her tell you what she wants. Please what?
Most men who ask for a kiss will be denied. It may not be an auditory no; it may be an eye roll and a smile, a quick laugh, a change of subject, a slight teasing push, or a quick peck. She's not going to be rude about it, but please don't ask.If you want something from her, you're going to have to take it. She won't surrender unless you make her. Respect, you need to give it AND command it; balance taking her with respecting her. It requires instinct, a visceral knowing that reads her in ways that can't be learned or taught.If you want the kiss, let go of all you're thinking and live inside your skin. Feel her without touching her. Your body KNOWS. Listen to it. Whatever you do, don't ask. Here's a tip, if you can't feel it, it's not there and no amount of wishing it were is going to make it so. If your instinct is telling you to lean in, then do it. Be a man.
~FAST FORWARD ~
You walk in the door; she meets you with a smile. You hand her a bottle of wine. She thanks you and takes it into the kitchen, puts it on ice. You follow her in. She has laughter in her eyes and smells like citrus. She brushes past you, lifts her eyes to yours and smiles as she slides between you and the center island. You're inches away from her but you can feel her. It's all you can do not to reach out and pull her to you.So why don't you? JUST DO IT. Grab her wrist and pull her back. If she doesn't resist, you're good to go. This isn't rocket science. Read her, damn it. Stop thinking and feel her. She's not going to give you the obvious permission you want. She's drawn to strength and confidence. You either have it or you don't. She's waiting to find out.She slips by again, holding a warm dish of something.
You take it right out of her hands, set it down, and pull her to you. This is when you ask, but there are no words required.Your thumb circles the inside of her wrist. You reach up and push her hair back. Your other thumb traces her jaw line. If there's vulnerability, you'll see it now. She lifts her eyes and you see it, step in, stop with your lips a breath away from hers, then kiss her lower lip. She opens and melts into you.And this is how you speak, with your hands softly tugging at her hair, with your tongue tasting hers. Now let her go. Not too quick. She's melted and needs a second or two to be solid again. Look her in the eyes and smile. Brush your thumb against her cheek again. Step back. Pick up the warm dish you took out of her hand scant seconds ago and ask, "Should I put this on the table?" You've stepped into her. You're behind her defenses. Be careful. Don't play with her. Eat a little. Talk to her. Drink some wine. Listen to music. When the dishes are cleared, sit down on the couch and pull her toward you. Kiss her again. Then make yourself do it.
Make yourself get up and say goodbye with a kiss that's a promise. When you're on the other side of the door, turn and rest your forehead against it. She's on the other side. If not for the door, her head would be on your chest.Don't race past the wanting. Savor it. Let it build. Make it last. It'll never be like this again. This is a discovery, a gradual knowing. Nothing feels as good as wanting. Forget about instant gratification. Dream about touching her. Let her dream about you. Let her wake up warm and wet because in her dream you were touching her, tasting her, moving inside of her, and she wants you. Feel her surrender a bit more every time you're with her. When you can't stand it anymore - when she can't - she'll do what she never does, she'll ask. And when she pulls her lips back from yours and says please, make her tell you what she wants. Please what?
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Dating...
I am a horrible date. I am. Now, don't get me wrong, I am a fun person to be around. I can carry on an intelligent conversation, and I know how to laugh and enjoy myself. But that's about where my dating skills end. (Besides the killer heels I wear...)I suck at dating. I do. And I'll be the firs to admit it. Why? Where the hell do I start?I am a clutz. A bad clutz. Like trip over something that isn't even there clutz. Like can't make it 3 hours in white pants without a stain clutz. Like try to take a drink of beer and end up knocking the entire thing over onto the bar clutz. Like try to give you a hug but somehow end up entangling your hair into my earrings and need some peanut butter to rectify the situation clutz. I drop things, break things, trip over things, forget things and spill things. And put a drop or ten of alcohol in me and it gets even worse. Yea, I'm THAT girl.
It sucks. Now, I have accepted my clutziness and embraced it fully. I can fall flat on my face in a white business suit and walk into a meeting covered in black splotches from eating shit in the parking lot and crack a joke about it. The problem is that some other people can't. It takes a strong man to be able to walk next to me while I fall on my ass for no apparent reason and not get embarrassed. In fact, I have been with many men who though that various tactics they used would CHANGE this about me. I shudder at the word: change. Not when it comes to myself...I am always changing. It's part of adapting and living life openly. But to have someone else set out to CHANGE a certain aspect of me just downright pisses me off. And men do that all the time. One guy thought yelling and me and pitching violent tantrums anytime I broke, spilled or forgot something would somehow magically make me graceful and smooth.
It didn't. All it did was make me bitter and resentful towards him. I felt like my daddy was always watching over me, waiting for my next mistake so he could bite my head off. Needless to say, it didn't last.I am forgetful. Very forgetful. I forget doctor appointments, birthdays, special events, due dates for bills and yes, I forget to call and return texts and *gasp*...scheduled dates. A lot of guys get very offended by this. They think that if they are that important then I would automatically remember. Not true. I think paying my bills is one of the most important things in my life, yet every month I have to set a reminder in my phone to alert me when they are due. And the 2nd. And the 3rd. It has NOTHING to do with importance. I am just forgetful. I don't know why. I don't care why. It doesn't matter to me. It's just how it is. . So one day I was looking for my lost keys and someone asked me why I didn't have them hanging on the nifty little hooks by my front door specifically meant for my keys.
When I replied that I don't always remember to put them there, he said, "Well I will just have to make you remember."I immediately stopped looking for the keys, stiffened my spine, spun around to him and asked him just how he planned on doing that. He replied that he would MOTIVATE me to put my keys in the right place.Psssssht. Are you kidding me? Me being forgetful is something that probably only Ginkoba or whatever it's called can help. I am oblivious. To what, you might ask??? Everything. I don't catch on to hints very well. I am extremely intuitive, and I can probably tap into your psyche without very much effort. But try to open a door for me and I am already on the other side and wondering what you are still doing in the restaurant. I spent a day with one guy, and we were going here and there. About halfway through the day, I noticed that he was coming over to my side of the car every time we went to get in. At first I figured he was just engrossed in conversation, but then I noticed that he always had an uneasy look on his face right before he walked over to his side to get in.
It took me a second, but I suddenly realized that he was being cordial!!! He was trying to open my door for me! So for me to not catch onto that shows just how oblivious I am. I don't mean to offend anyone...I just am off in la la -land tra-la-la-ing my way through life. Sometimes ya just have to say "Hey back up and let me open your damn door!!!" hahahaI am incapable of making small decisions. I just can't. What do you want to eat? I don't care. Where do you want to go? I don't care. What movie do you want to see? I don't care. And you know what?? I honestly DON'T!!! I could give a darn where we go or what we eat or what movie we go sit through. I just don't. ask me about chinese vs. mexican dinner and my brain can't process it. It's just how I work. There are a million other little reasons why I am a horrible date, but I won't bore you with them all. I just know that I bomb when in forced awkward intimate situations. (Yes I stole that from Wedding Crashers. GREAT MOVIE. *i heart u vince!!!*) So I tend to steer clear of it. I prefer to go out on first dates with guys that I have talked to, IM'd, texted, emailed, etc for quite a while already.
This way if I eat shit walking into the restaurant, I can stand up, brush myself off and look at the people around me and state that I think I need to lay off the Xanax and he will laugh because he knows that I just have an abrasive sense of humor. It just works for me. I don't know how people date these days. Am I just getting old or what? Cause I'm too damn tired to do the dance anymore. If I can't end the night walking through the casino carrying my shoes then I'm just not gonna be too jazzed up about going. Know what I mean???
I am a horrible date. I am. Now, don't get me wrong, I am a fun person to be around. I can carry on an intelligent conversation, and I know how to laugh and enjoy myself. But that's about where my dating skills end. (Besides the killer heels I wear...)I suck at dating. I do. And I'll be the firs to admit it. Why? Where the hell do I start?I am a clutz. A bad clutz. Like trip over something that isn't even there clutz. Like can't make it 3 hours in white pants without a stain clutz. Like try to take a drink of beer and end up knocking the entire thing over onto the bar clutz. Like try to give you a hug but somehow end up entangling your hair into my earrings and need some peanut butter to rectify the situation clutz. I drop things, break things, trip over things, forget things and spill things. And put a drop or ten of alcohol in me and it gets even worse. Yea, I'm THAT girl.
It sucks. Now, I have accepted my clutziness and embraced it fully. I can fall flat on my face in a white business suit and walk into a meeting covered in black splotches from eating shit in the parking lot and crack a joke about it. The problem is that some other people can't. It takes a strong man to be able to walk next to me while I fall on my ass for no apparent reason and not get embarrassed. In fact, I have been with many men who though that various tactics they used would CHANGE this about me. I shudder at the word: change. Not when it comes to myself...I am always changing. It's part of adapting and living life openly. But to have someone else set out to CHANGE a certain aspect of me just downright pisses me off. And men do that all the time. One guy thought yelling and me and pitching violent tantrums anytime I broke, spilled or forgot something would somehow magically make me graceful and smooth.
It didn't. All it did was make me bitter and resentful towards him. I felt like my daddy was always watching over me, waiting for my next mistake so he could bite my head off. Needless to say, it didn't last.I am forgetful. Very forgetful. I forget doctor appointments, birthdays, special events, due dates for bills and yes, I forget to call and return texts and *gasp*...scheduled dates. A lot of guys get very offended by this. They think that if they are that important then I would automatically remember. Not true. I think paying my bills is one of the most important things in my life, yet every month I have to set a reminder in my phone to alert me when they are due. And the 2nd. And the 3rd. It has NOTHING to do with importance. I am just forgetful. I don't know why. I don't care why. It doesn't matter to me. It's just how it is. . So one day I was looking for my lost keys and someone asked me why I didn't have them hanging on the nifty little hooks by my front door specifically meant for my keys.
When I replied that I don't always remember to put them there, he said, "Well I will just have to make you remember."I immediately stopped looking for the keys, stiffened my spine, spun around to him and asked him just how he planned on doing that. He replied that he would MOTIVATE me to put my keys in the right place.Psssssht. Are you kidding me? Me being forgetful is something that probably only Ginkoba or whatever it's called can help. I am oblivious. To what, you might ask??? Everything. I don't catch on to hints very well. I am extremely intuitive, and I can probably tap into your psyche without very much effort. But try to open a door for me and I am already on the other side and wondering what you are still doing in the restaurant. I spent a day with one guy, and we were going here and there. About halfway through the day, I noticed that he was coming over to my side of the car every time we went to get in. At first I figured he was just engrossed in conversation, but then I noticed that he always had an uneasy look on his face right before he walked over to his side to get in.
It took me a second, but I suddenly realized that he was being cordial!!! He was trying to open my door for me! So for me to not catch onto that shows just how oblivious I am. I don't mean to offend anyone...I just am off in la la -land tra-la-la-ing my way through life. Sometimes ya just have to say "Hey back up and let me open your damn door!!!" hahahaI am incapable of making small decisions. I just can't. What do you want to eat? I don't care. Where do you want to go? I don't care. What movie do you want to see? I don't care. And you know what?? I honestly DON'T!!! I could give a darn where we go or what we eat or what movie we go sit through. I just don't. ask me about chinese vs. mexican dinner and my brain can't process it. It's just how I work. There are a million other little reasons why I am a horrible date, but I won't bore you with them all. I just know that I bomb when in forced awkward intimate situations. (Yes I stole that from Wedding Crashers. GREAT MOVIE. *i heart u vince!!!*) So I tend to steer clear of it. I prefer to go out on first dates with guys that I have talked to, IM'd, texted, emailed, etc for quite a while already.
This way if I eat shit walking into the restaurant, I can stand up, brush myself off and look at the people around me and state that I think I need to lay off the Xanax and he will laugh because he knows that I just have an abrasive sense of humor. It just works for me. I don't know how people date these days. Am I just getting old or what? Cause I'm too damn tired to do the dance anymore. If I can't end the night walking through the casino carrying my shoes then I'm just not gonna be too jazzed up about going. Know what I mean???
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Swine flu is gonna get you!
In the U.S., more than 30,000 people die every year from the flu. More than 30,000. In America, ONE PERSON so far has died from the swine flu. That person had been treated in Mexico, only coming to the States toward the end. When it was too late. Yet people are in a panic. Joe Biden is telling his family to stay off subways. U.S. officials are saying "There WILL be deaths." People are washing their hands compulsively and staying away from movie theaters and stadiums.
I've even heard people say they wouldn't eat at a Mexican restaurant right now. It doesn't matter if it makes sense or not. If you have flu symptoms, go to a doctor. Get treated. It's that simple. Don't stop eating pork because someone 'twittered' the untrue rumor that you can get it that way. Don't go out and invest in a surgical mask. Don't cancel your vacation to Florida because Biden said we should avoid airplanes. Just calm down. It doesn't help that every day you login to read the dramatic media coverage of events. "The U.S. has 68 confirmed cases in five states," the Associated Press reported Tuesday. 45 of those are in New York. Uh-oh. Better cancel that trip to New York.
And if you encounter anyone who has been to New York, walk away immediately. Stop shaking people's hands, start carrying antibacterial hand gel around with you everywhere you go. In short, live your life in fear. I'm curious just how many cases of REGULAR flu are out there right now. In the U.S., it has to be more than 68. In fact, last year REGULAR flu killed 83 children and 36,000 adults, according to the Centers for Disease Control. That's 306 deaths a month. That's around ten deaths a DAY. Got your antibacterial soap now? Your likelihood of dying in a car accident is much greater than your likelihood of dying from the swine flu. In fact, it is estimated 115 people die in car crashes EVERY DAY.
So if you cancel your plans tonight and stay home, THAT should be your reason. Not your fear of catching this flu. Don't blame the media. They prey on your fears. Your fears lead you to buy a paper or tune into the evening news. They're just giving you what you want. Don't blame the government. They HAVE to be prepared and they HAVE to inform. If they wrote the swine flu off as no big deal and massive amounts of people died from it, they'd be held liable. I'm not saying you shouldn't be informed and be careful. Certainly, you should. But should you barricade yourself in your house and refuse to let your children to go to school because of it? I don't think so.
In the U.S., more than 30,000 people die every year from the flu. More than 30,000. In America, ONE PERSON so far has died from the swine flu. That person had been treated in Mexico, only coming to the States toward the end. When it was too late. Yet people are in a panic. Joe Biden is telling his family to stay off subways. U.S. officials are saying "There WILL be deaths." People are washing their hands compulsively and staying away from movie theaters and stadiums.
I've even heard people say they wouldn't eat at a Mexican restaurant right now. It doesn't matter if it makes sense or not. If you have flu symptoms, go to a doctor. Get treated. It's that simple. Don't stop eating pork because someone 'twittered' the untrue rumor that you can get it that way. Don't go out and invest in a surgical mask. Don't cancel your vacation to Florida because Biden said we should avoid airplanes. Just calm down. It doesn't help that every day you login to read the dramatic media coverage of events. "The U.S. has 68 confirmed cases in five states," the Associated Press reported Tuesday. 45 of those are in New York. Uh-oh. Better cancel that trip to New York.
And if you encounter anyone who has been to New York, walk away immediately. Stop shaking people's hands, start carrying antibacterial hand gel around with you everywhere you go. In short, live your life in fear. I'm curious just how many cases of REGULAR flu are out there right now. In the U.S., it has to be more than 68. In fact, last year REGULAR flu killed 83 children and 36,000 adults, according to the Centers for Disease Control. That's 306 deaths a month. That's around ten deaths a DAY. Got your antibacterial soap now? Your likelihood of dying in a car accident is much greater than your likelihood of dying from the swine flu. In fact, it is estimated 115 people die in car crashes EVERY DAY.
So if you cancel your plans tonight and stay home, THAT should be your reason. Not your fear of catching this flu. Don't blame the media. They prey on your fears. Your fears lead you to buy a paper or tune into the evening news. They're just giving you what you want. Don't blame the government. They HAVE to be prepared and they HAVE to inform. If they wrote the swine flu off as no big deal and massive amounts of people died from it, they'd be held liable. I'm not saying you shouldn't be informed and be careful. Certainly, you should. But should you barricade yourself in your house and refuse to let your children to go to school because of it? I don't think so.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
cheaters aren't bad people Maybe they just did something bad?Today, I watched the Oprah Show on Why Men Cheat. Oprah had M. Gary Neuman talking about his book discussing the reason he has gathered men cheat. What a better person to tell you than a guy right? Half of the time I don’t think most men know why they cheat.
For those of you that do have reasons, good for you. My opinion is that there really isn’t a reason to cheat on someone. And there is nothing you can say to make it better or make your partner "excuse it".I can’t imagine telling someone I love them and then turn around and share myself with someone else. There are some women that can do this but I am not one of those that can do that because I attach sex to emotion and love.
Mr. Neuman suggests that men typically don’t though men are emotional creatures. They just don't vocalize it. As much as I have been told that it’s wrong to attach sex to that, in this case especially when you are married I think it’s a good idea to attach sex to the same things I mentioned above.Now, the reason I was prompted to write this is because Mr. Neuman suggested that not is not fair to say that cheaters are necessarily jerks or bad people. Hmmmm….let me sit on that comment for one second. Cheaters are not bad people!
I am pretty much a pro at this as I have been cheated on, I have seen my friends cheated on and my mother has been cheated on.Cheating is malicious and destructive. If cheaters are not bad people then I think it would be fair to at least say that cheaters are self-serving people. They do not think of the destruction it causes whether you can possibly pass an STD on to your partner, break up afamily, or even put your partner’s life in jeopardy. Someone that has the capability to do all of those things does not sound like a good person to me.
Good people generally care about other people. People whocare about their partner should also care about their partner’s feelings, and health. Cheating is no joke! If you are cheating on someone you profess to love you’d better wake up and realize what you are doing and what this really means. Does it mean you are insecure?Does it mean you are needy? Does it mean you crave attention? Does it mean you have issues you have yet to resolve? Or does it mean you are just flat out a horrible person?I’d like to say the latter, because I have issues, I get insecure, and I even sometimes get needy, but that does not mean if I am committed to you I will stray because of those factors.
That’s not the answer to my problem. I also know better than to take my problem and then make it yours especially in such a hurtful way. So if I know that, what is up with all the other people?Are some of us programmed to be this uncontrolled and insensible? It’s something to think about for sure!What we don’t realize is that we get into relationships (myself including) with people that have issues that causes them to disconnect enabling them to be able to cheat that has NOTHING to do with us. Unfortunately we get hurt in the process. This is why it’s really important to KNOW your partner.
For those of you that do have reasons, good for you. My opinion is that there really isn’t a reason to cheat on someone. And there is nothing you can say to make it better or make your partner "excuse it".I can’t imagine telling someone I love them and then turn around and share myself with someone else. There are some women that can do this but I am not one of those that can do that because I attach sex to emotion and love.
Mr. Neuman suggests that men typically don’t though men are emotional creatures. They just don't vocalize it. As much as I have been told that it’s wrong to attach sex to that, in this case especially when you are married I think it’s a good idea to attach sex to the same things I mentioned above.Now, the reason I was prompted to write this is because Mr. Neuman suggested that not is not fair to say that cheaters are necessarily jerks or bad people. Hmmmm….let me sit on that comment for one second. Cheaters are not bad people!
I am pretty much a pro at this as I have been cheated on, I have seen my friends cheated on and my mother has been cheated on.Cheating is malicious and destructive. If cheaters are not bad people then I think it would be fair to at least say that cheaters are self-serving people. They do not think of the destruction it causes whether you can possibly pass an STD on to your partner, break up afamily, or even put your partner’s life in jeopardy. Someone that has the capability to do all of those things does not sound like a good person to me.
Good people generally care about other people. People whocare about their partner should also care about their partner’s feelings, and health. Cheating is no joke! If you are cheating on someone you profess to love you’d better wake up and realize what you are doing and what this really means. Does it mean you are insecure?Does it mean you are needy? Does it mean you crave attention? Does it mean you have issues you have yet to resolve? Or does it mean you are just flat out a horrible person?I’d like to say the latter, because I have issues, I get insecure, and I even sometimes get needy, but that does not mean if I am committed to you I will stray because of those factors.
That’s not the answer to my problem. I also know better than to take my problem and then make it yours especially in such a hurtful way. So if I know that, what is up with all the other people?Are some of us programmed to be this uncontrolled and insensible? It’s something to think about for sure!What we don’t realize is that we get into relationships (myself including) with people that have issues that causes them to disconnect enabling them to be able to cheat that has NOTHING to do with us. Unfortunately we get hurt in the process. This is why it’s really important to KNOW your partner.
One of my friends think relationships should build slowly, over months and months. I've always disagreed, but I watched a couple of my own relationships self-destruct after only a few months. To her credit, she never said "I told you so," but having my relationships end so quickly made me wonder... Is it better to go into a relationship cautiously, letting it build over time, or to just jump right in?My relationships could have lasted longer, had I insisted on taking things slowly. We would have proceeded with caution, thus dragging the whole thing out, possibly for years. Would that have been better?
Would I have been better off if it had gone on for four years rather than four months?There are dangers in jumping in. Many of my friends are cautious and go into relationships with all those walls up. Over time, the man must gradually break those walls down, brick by brick, until finally, if he's lucky, he gets to see what she's really like. That method keeps her from ever getting hurt. And many men I know do the same thing."If you move too fast, you'll ruin a good thing." How many times have I heard that? Is there truth in it? If it's really good...could you ruin it by not going at a snail's pace? I'm not sure I believe that.I do know that the issues that were present in my four-month relationship would have been present even if we'd taken things slowly.
We simply weren't the right fit. Yes, we moved quickly, but we also burned through everything in just a few months' time. Then we were able to go on with our lives and find people we did fit with...people who might not have still been available if we'd dawdled another eight months to a year.The problem is, in most relationships, you truly don't know at the beginning how things will turn out. Sure, there are warning signs, but aren't there always warning signs? So if you go into the relationship with your guard up, taking weeks and months and years to get to know him, does that prevent you from getting hurt any more?
I once wasted more 5 years of my life on someone who didn't know what he wanted. And at the end of that time I was infinitely resentful that so much time and effort had gone into this dead-end relationship. I would much prefer to have gotten everything out into the open in the first few months and burned through the relationship so I could mourn him and go on with my life. Because if there's one thing I learned from that, it's that taking it slowly does not make it hurt any less when it ends. In fact, investing a year in a relationship means it is going to hit you even harder when it does end. My experience was that four months of an intense, fast-moving relationship was much easier to get over than a year-long drag-fest.
Maybe it was just the habits that were created over all those long months? Whatever the case, I'd prefer to just jump in and find out if it's going to work or not.So...I'm completely open to opposing opinions. Is moving slowly the way to go? Or do you think maybe it's better to go into each relationship with an open mind and throw caution to the wind?
Would I have been better off if it had gone on for four years rather than four months?There are dangers in jumping in. Many of my friends are cautious and go into relationships with all those walls up. Over time, the man must gradually break those walls down, brick by brick, until finally, if he's lucky, he gets to see what she's really like. That method keeps her from ever getting hurt. And many men I know do the same thing."If you move too fast, you'll ruin a good thing." How many times have I heard that? Is there truth in it? If it's really good...could you ruin it by not going at a snail's pace? I'm not sure I believe that.I do know that the issues that were present in my four-month relationship would have been present even if we'd taken things slowly.
We simply weren't the right fit. Yes, we moved quickly, but we also burned through everything in just a few months' time. Then we were able to go on with our lives and find people we did fit with...people who might not have still been available if we'd dawdled another eight months to a year.The problem is, in most relationships, you truly don't know at the beginning how things will turn out. Sure, there are warning signs, but aren't there always warning signs? So if you go into the relationship with your guard up, taking weeks and months and years to get to know him, does that prevent you from getting hurt any more?
I once wasted more 5 years of my life on someone who didn't know what he wanted. And at the end of that time I was infinitely resentful that so much time and effort had gone into this dead-end relationship. I would much prefer to have gotten everything out into the open in the first few months and burned through the relationship so I could mourn him and go on with my life. Because if there's one thing I learned from that, it's that taking it slowly does not make it hurt any less when it ends. In fact, investing a year in a relationship means it is going to hit you even harder when it does end. My experience was that four months of an intense, fast-moving relationship was much easier to get over than a year-long drag-fest.
Maybe it was just the habits that were created over all those long months? Whatever the case, I'd prefer to just jump in and find out if it's going to work or not.So...I'm completely open to opposing opinions. Is moving slowly the way to go? Or do you think maybe it's better to go into each relationship with an open mind and throw caution to the wind?
I Want and I Won't Settle Until---I want a dominate male. I want a man that comes in and takes over the stress of my life when in a relationship. I want the man to care for my expenses (I will give him my money to do so-- well not all of it, but most of it lol). I hate being the one who is forced to make all the decisions. I've done it for 10 years, and I am ready to hand it all over to someone who is willing to be there for me, responsibly.I want a manly man. I want a man that will go fishing, hiking, boating, loves sports, loves being outside.
Why? Because a man that does all of this is in tune with his "male" side. He acts upon biological urges that are inside of him. I don't want him to be feminine in any way. I want a sexual man. I want a man that is going to take me wherever he wants me, whether it be in the car, at the edge of a pond where we might be fishing, on the kitchen table etc. I think you get my jist. I want the man to be very sexually dominate. I want my man to have a little bad boy inside of him.I want a man that has naughty thoughts that he whispers in my ears while we are grocery shopping so that when I get home (or on the way home) we can fuck hard then make love, or vice versa LOL.
I want him to look good dressed up, but to also wear t-shirt and tight jeans so I can see his ass and drool over him. A shaved head wouldn't hurt either but a man that uses hairspray, that's just not good. Too damned feminine for me.I want my man to be a bit kinky.I want my man to feel free to expiriment with sex. I want him to be willing to take both of us to places that we haven't been before. Tie me down, spank my ass, pull my hair, and there are tuns of other things I want to try, but I will leave them out. lol I have to keep it semi-clean.I want my man to have emotions.I don't want my man to be crying all the time, or a whiner either. But I do want him to understand my emotions, share with my about both of our feelings and be open about everything.I want a blatently honest man.
I want a man that will give me the straight up truth all the time. I want him to be honest and caring, no matter what the subject. Honesty is the only way to go. It is so much easier having to deal with things that come at you in a relationship if you live with the honesty code. When hurts come at us, it's much easier to heal from hearing the truth rather than a lie. I want a man with respect.I want a man that expects to be respected, but one that will also give me respect. One that will give my family respect, as well as compassion. I know I have a tall list to fill, but I honestly don't think it's much to expect. I Want and I Won't Settle Until---Until I find a man that fills all of these qualities.
Why? Because a man that does all of this is in tune with his "male" side. He acts upon biological urges that are inside of him. I don't want him to be feminine in any way. I want a sexual man. I want a man that is going to take me wherever he wants me, whether it be in the car, at the edge of a pond where we might be fishing, on the kitchen table etc. I think you get my jist. I want the man to be very sexually dominate. I want my man to have a little bad boy inside of him.I want a man that has naughty thoughts that he whispers in my ears while we are grocery shopping so that when I get home (or on the way home) we can fuck hard then make love, or vice versa LOL.
I want him to look good dressed up, but to also wear t-shirt and tight jeans so I can see his ass and drool over him. A shaved head wouldn't hurt either but a man that uses hairspray, that's just not good. Too damned feminine for me.I want my man to be a bit kinky.I want my man to feel free to expiriment with sex. I want him to be willing to take both of us to places that we haven't been before. Tie me down, spank my ass, pull my hair, and there are tuns of other things I want to try, but I will leave them out. lol I have to keep it semi-clean.I want my man to have emotions.I don't want my man to be crying all the time, or a whiner either. But I do want him to understand my emotions, share with my about both of our feelings and be open about everything.I want a blatently honest man.
I want a man that will give me the straight up truth all the time. I want him to be honest and caring, no matter what the subject. Honesty is the only way to go. It is so much easier having to deal with things that come at you in a relationship if you live with the honesty code. When hurts come at us, it's much easier to heal from hearing the truth rather than a lie. I want a man with respect.I want a man that expects to be respected, but one that will also give me respect. One that will give my family respect, as well as compassion. I know I have a tall list to fill, but I honestly don't think it's much to expect. I Want and I Won't Settle Until---Until I find a man that fills all of these qualities.
*She will eventually leave if you lie. (Misrepresenting what you want from a relationship or from her constitutes a "lie".) Telling her that she's pretty when she looks like shit from the flu does NOT fall under the category of "lie".*We are as obsessed with our beauty as you are your penises. We get the same charge from hearing "you are beautiful" that you get from hearing that you have a beast behind your zipper. It doesn't ever get old, and you'll want to hear it over and over, right? So do we. It doesn't matter if we KNOW we're beautiful...
we want to know that YOU think we are.*Our necks are errogoneous zones. Seriously. You can get her panties to drop if you know how to treat her neck. Remember guys, unless she's specifically told you it's something she likes... not wet above the neck. Keep your tongue to yourself.One of the sexiest things in the WORLD is when a man leans in from behind you to whisper something near your ear. This can make her think about you in a sexual way if she never has before.*She is going to freak out and imagine that she's pregnant a day or two before every period, whether she has any rational reason to believe it or not.
This would not be a good time to berate her for forgetting to take her pills. *she is scared of losing her independance, and she is scared of becoming her mother (no matter how cool her mother is).*PMS does not make women bitchy, it lowers their tolerance for bullshit. Big difference. Women let lots of stuff go for 25 days out of the month...for 5 days they don't have the patience to do so. Be grateful for the 25... and endure the rest with good attitude.*She forgives you more than she should and more than you probably deserve.*Sex does not wipe the slate clean. If you did something stupid and you have great sex... you think it's all better. It's not. The only things that will permanently put the issue to rest?
Talking it through.*Women don't just want to know that you care ... they NEED to know.Women need to feel beautiful, they need good sex, and they need to know that you value them in some way.Most women don't stray from relationships just because they want laid, they do it because they need to feel beautiful, sexy and appreciated (and they probably aren't getting that at home).*If she doesn't want sex with you it's because a)she doesn't feel sexy... could be anything from premenstrual bloat to having caught an unflattering reflection in a three way mirror. b)she's not feeling connected to you c)she is manipulating you to get what she wants from you.*Shoes usually determine whether or not you're fasionable.
*She expects you to call. Women judge your interest in them by how much effort you put into contacting her. If you're honestly too busy for a short conversation, text, or email... TELL her so (and when you're likely to resurface again)... if you don't, she will assume that you are just not that into her.*If you've ever wondered what to say when she expresses disgust at her appearance, asks you how an outfit looks, or compares herself unfavorably to other women, "you are beautiful" is NEVER a wrong answer (even if she rolls her eyes when she hears it).*We mull things over. If you do something that disturbs us, we may not tell you about it right away. We think it over first. Sometimes for days. If you've done something thoughtless and stupid and she doesn't chew you out over it first thing...it still doesn't mean you're off the hook.
Women will find out 5 minutes into a first date that their date is wildly unacceptable, yet most will smile and continue on with the date as though nothing is wrong...only to then drop off the face of the planet.*Asses are important to women. If you have a great one... display it to full advantage. We love it when you walk around the house naked, or in snug fitting jockeys ;)*If you're having sex on a regular basis, and you want it to continue, ask her to spend the night.*If she's spent the night, you are obligated to feed her breakfast.*If a woman touches you, she's probably attracted. We don't touch men we aren't attracted to on some level.
*If she's attracted, and you ask her out directly, she'll probably say "yes".*We want men to take the lead.*We are impressed when you ask us advice, confide in us... or trust us with your secrets and dreams.*Women are expressive. We have to tell you stuff if we feel it. It's in our nature. If you show a woman that you don't hear her, you show her that you don't care about her. Listen. Even if you have to fake it.*If she's smiling, she's happy. Remember what caused the smile and do it again at every opportunity.*Whether she's a platonic friend, a friend with benefits, a wife or a third date...she needs to know what you are thinking and/or feeling about her.*when it doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.
*Amaze her. foreplay begins before the clothes come off for a woman, hopefully you know that already... but it's not so much about the act itself as it is the man. Regardless of the nature of the relationship, she's there because she sees something unique and wonderful about you. FOrget what you've been learning about sexual technique. Talk to her... let her know you, let her know that you want to know her in return. THAT is what leads to phenomenal sex.*You might have heard that women want to be treated as equals. That's not true. Women want to be treated as equals in the boardroom and on the pay scale, with a man , they want to be treated like women.*some women say that they want a sensitive man.
They do not. If you cry in front of her or fall apart she will lose respect for you. She wants a MAN... but a man who listens to her. If she wanted to be with a girl, she'd be with a girl.*I'll say it again (it counts at least twice) women want you to share parts of you with them. TALK. They want you to want to know who they are, so LISTEN.*women remember everything about your relationship.*Most women would rather have you break up with them than string them along when you don't want to be there and/or have you cheat on them.*Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public places.*We love clean sweat. You are sexy as hell when you've just come from the gym or mowing the lawn. Stale sweat? YUCK!*women cannot resist a man who is holding a baby, or baby talking to a dog.*we think you are extraordinarily sexy when you are concentrating... especially when you are fixing something appropriately manly :)*always greet her with kisses*
If you have to ask yourself if it's cheating, it IS.*Don't wait until the next day to return her messages... we're back to that thing where she judges her importance to you by how you stay in contact with her.That doesn't mean that you have to drop everything when she calls... she's busy, too... she just needs to know that she matters to you.*If the only time you kiss her or show her physical affection is during foreplay, she'll soon start to feel like it's all about sex and resent it when you want to play. Give her kisses and touches for no reason, with no strings attached. Hold her hand, stroke her hair. This reassures a woman that you appreciate more of her than just the wet parts ;)*We love it when you dance with us in the living room. *we love sex every bit as much as you do, but we need to feel connected to you first.
we want to know that YOU think we are.*Our necks are errogoneous zones. Seriously. You can get her panties to drop if you know how to treat her neck. Remember guys, unless she's specifically told you it's something she likes... not wet above the neck. Keep your tongue to yourself.One of the sexiest things in the WORLD is when a man leans in from behind you to whisper something near your ear. This can make her think about you in a sexual way if she never has before.*She is going to freak out and imagine that she's pregnant a day or two before every period, whether she has any rational reason to believe it or not.
This would not be a good time to berate her for forgetting to take her pills. *she is scared of losing her independance, and she is scared of becoming her mother (no matter how cool her mother is).*PMS does not make women bitchy, it lowers their tolerance for bullshit. Big difference. Women let lots of stuff go for 25 days out of the month...for 5 days they don't have the patience to do so. Be grateful for the 25... and endure the rest with good attitude.*She forgives you more than she should and more than you probably deserve.*Sex does not wipe the slate clean. If you did something stupid and you have great sex... you think it's all better. It's not. The only things that will permanently put the issue to rest?
Talking it through.*Women don't just want to know that you care ... they NEED to know.Women need to feel beautiful, they need good sex, and they need to know that you value them in some way.Most women don't stray from relationships just because they want laid, they do it because they need to feel beautiful, sexy and appreciated (and they probably aren't getting that at home).*If she doesn't want sex with you it's because a)she doesn't feel sexy... could be anything from premenstrual bloat to having caught an unflattering reflection in a three way mirror. b)she's not feeling connected to you c)she is manipulating you to get what she wants from you.*Shoes usually determine whether or not you're fasionable.
*She expects you to call. Women judge your interest in them by how much effort you put into contacting her. If you're honestly too busy for a short conversation, text, or email... TELL her so (and when you're likely to resurface again)... if you don't, she will assume that you are just not that into her.*If you've ever wondered what to say when she expresses disgust at her appearance, asks you how an outfit looks, or compares herself unfavorably to other women, "you are beautiful" is NEVER a wrong answer (even if she rolls her eyes when she hears it).*We mull things over. If you do something that disturbs us, we may not tell you about it right away. We think it over first. Sometimes for days. If you've done something thoughtless and stupid and she doesn't chew you out over it first thing...it still doesn't mean you're off the hook.
Women will find out 5 minutes into a first date that their date is wildly unacceptable, yet most will smile and continue on with the date as though nothing is wrong...only to then drop off the face of the planet.*Asses are important to women. If you have a great one... display it to full advantage. We love it when you walk around the house naked, or in snug fitting jockeys ;)*If you're having sex on a regular basis, and you want it to continue, ask her to spend the night.*If she's spent the night, you are obligated to feed her breakfast.*If a woman touches you, she's probably attracted. We don't touch men we aren't attracted to on some level.
*If she's attracted, and you ask her out directly, she'll probably say "yes".*We want men to take the lead.*We are impressed when you ask us advice, confide in us... or trust us with your secrets and dreams.*Women are expressive. We have to tell you stuff if we feel it. It's in our nature. If you show a woman that you don't hear her, you show her that you don't care about her. Listen. Even if you have to fake it.*If she's smiling, she's happy. Remember what caused the smile and do it again at every opportunity.*Whether she's a platonic friend, a friend with benefits, a wife or a third date...she needs to know what you are thinking and/or feeling about her.*when it doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.
*Amaze her. foreplay begins before the clothes come off for a woman, hopefully you know that already... but it's not so much about the act itself as it is the man. Regardless of the nature of the relationship, she's there because she sees something unique and wonderful about you. FOrget what you've been learning about sexual technique. Talk to her... let her know you, let her know that you want to know her in return. THAT is what leads to phenomenal sex.*You might have heard that women want to be treated as equals. That's not true. Women want to be treated as equals in the boardroom and on the pay scale, with a man , they want to be treated like women.*some women say that they want a sensitive man.
They do not. If you cry in front of her or fall apart she will lose respect for you. She wants a MAN... but a man who listens to her. If she wanted to be with a girl, she'd be with a girl.*I'll say it again (it counts at least twice) women want you to share parts of you with them. TALK. They want you to want to know who they are, so LISTEN.*women remember everything about your relationship.*Most women would rather have you break up with them than string them along when you don't want to be there and/or have you cheat on them.*Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public places.*We love clean sweat. You are sexy as hell when you've just come from the gym or mowing the lawn. Stale sweat? YUCK!*women cannot resist a man who is holding a baby, or baby talking to a dog.*we think you are extraordinarily sexy when you are concentrating... especially when you are fixing something appropriately manly :)*always greet her with kisses*
If you have to ask yourself if it's cheating, it IS.*Don't wait until the next day to return her messages... we're back to that thing where she judges her importance to you by how you stay in contact with her.That doesn't mean that you have to drop everything when she calls... she's busy, too... she just needs to know that she matters to you.*If the only time you kiss her or show her physical affection is during foreplay, she'll soon start to feel like it's all about sex and resent it when you want to play. Give her kisses and touches for no reason, with no strings attached. Hold her hand, stroke her hair. This reassures a woman that you appreciate more of her than just the wet parts ;)*We love it when you dance with us in the living room. *we love sex every bit as much as you do, but we need to feel connected to you first.
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