When you are in a relationship with someone, it's a given that person is going to have a past. At some point, your lover was in love with, maybe even dumped by, someone else. As a result, there will be THINGS in that person's life that were given to him or her by another lover. Sweaters, cologne, some jewelry... Some still have wedding rings, tucked away in a jewelry box somewhere. Then there might be photos...boxes and boxes of photos, for that matter.

When you move in together or even get married, at what point do you, the new person, have the right to be upset at these old items lying around? Where is the line?What if these items are in storage? Does that make it okay?I've heard people complain of new lovers trashing boxes full of photos. Sure, many of the photos were of past lovers, but there were other memories in those photos as well. Friends they shared, places they went, high school graduations... Should they be allowed to keep those?

There are things we'll all want to remember as we get older. When we're 82, looking back over our lives, we'll still recall everyone we've loved, everyone who has loved us. If our spouse is still alive at that point, will remembering our past loves take anything away from the love we share with the current person we're with?What if that spouse has tossed away many of our valuable memories, out of spite or jealousy? Won't we harbor a little resentment?It gets even more complicated when your spouse or current lover shares children with an ex. Photos are inevitable. Often MANY photos.

Photos of a happily family, taken prior to their divorce/break-up. Not a single photo involving those children gets scrapped. Those photos are precious. It's not that the photos are displayed around the house...they are usually tucked into a box somewhere, but when you happen upon them, it's no less uncomfortable.Jealousy? Not really. But where do you draw the line? When is it appropriate to be upset over the presence of items from your lover's past?