Over and over again, people who seem to know what they are doing say the same thing. Quit looking for love and it will find you. Stop trying so hard. Get off those online dating sites, quit going to singles bars. Just...

Just what?

Just sit on your sofa watching C.S.I.?

Just keep staring at your TV and eating Ho-Hos?

Because, any minute now, the person of your dreams is going to come knocking on your door and begging you to go out?

I think not.

If you're over the age of 30 and single, I've got news for you. Love ain't findin' you. Love doesn't even know where you live. Love says you need to get up off that sofa, turn off your TV, and get out into the world if you want it.

I say over the age of 30 because that's when it seems toughest to meet new people. In your teens and early 20s you're in school, surrounded by other single people. Then you graduate and hit the real world, still having friends who are single like you. They hang out in singles bars and clubs, where other 20-something singles hang out. You are regularly exposed to people your age who are not yet taken.

But there's a reason you spend your late 20s going to weddings. All your friends pair up. They start having babies. They stop going to clubs. If you make it through all of this, still single...

Now, you've got problems.

Over 30, your life generally consists of work, home, and...well, that's it. If you're lucky you still have single friends to hang out with but you start to notice the singles hangouts generally aren't geared toward people your age. Hello? You weren't supposed to be single anymore. If you're a guy, you are seen as a little creepy. If you're a woman, the men are wondering who let the M.I.L.F. out. You just don't want to be that person.

If you're looking for a job, do you sit on your sofa and assume it will just magically happen? Do you get all dressed up and wander the streets, hoping someone will notice you? Heck no. You get your resume out there. You network. You make opportunity happen.

Why is dating not the same way? If you think online dating is only for desperate people, you need to get with the 00s chica. More than 120,000 weddings a year are the result of an online dating matchup. That's 240,000 people that would still be sitting on that sofa alone if they hadn't been able to push past outdated stereotypes.

Some are more into networking. This is where it gets tough. Your inclination is to go where members of the opposite sex are likely to be...but it's not about that. It's about getting out there and meeting people. Take a part-time job. Join a group that shares your hobby. Do charity work -- something you ENJOY doing. You may find yourself surrounded by members of the same sex, but who knows? One of them may have a child, friend of a friend, or sibling to fix you up with.

One site I've recommended here before is meetup.com. Find groups that share your interest. Join several of them. Get out there and have fun. Even if you don't find love, you'll make some great friends and it certainly beats sitting alone with those Ho-Hos.